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Surviving attempted suicide
Kristen Jane Anderson, attempted suicide survivor now counsels others on suicide prevention.
September 12th, 2012
10:43 AM ET

Surviving attempted suicide

By Edgar Treiguts, CNN

(CNN) – Kristen Anderson says a cold January night that changed her life is just as vivid now as it was more than 12 years ago.

[:06] "Basically right before the train got there, just made the very impulsive decision to lay down on the tracks."

Anderson is 30 now, married, and expecting a baby boy in the next couple of weeks.

But she wasn't supposed to be here. She saw little way out of what she calls a "deep and scary depression" as a teenager. A year and a half of continuous tragedy saw four of her close friends die. And she was raped.

The reasons or triggers for any one person's road to a suicide attempt are many, but the result is the same.

Suicide is the the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration says it claims more than twice as many lives each year as homicide.

And that trend is rising. U.S. government officials are now launching a few national strategy to attack the health problem.

Kristen Anderson somehow survived that night on the railroad tracks, but lost her legs in the process. It's been faith and the help of some important people that has changed her course.

[3:53] "I don't even know how to describe it. I just feel incredibly hopeful, I feel very very blessed...I feel very very grateful. I could have never ever ever ever imagined that day that I laid down on those train tracks how much my life was going to change."

Anderson details her experience in her book 'Life, In Spite Of Me'. She also founded Reaching You Ministries , which aims to help others in trouble.

Listen to the complete story above and join the conversation below.

soundoff (468 Responses)
  1. Lilit Nazarian

    In our life there are a lot of problems that we must overcome,but not to yield.Life is a gift from God.HE gives us a possibility to live and we should enjoy it.For each person it is difficult to lose friends or relatives,but we should continue to live;(may be we'll live for them).Making a suicide is not a solution.We should live and believe that they are with us,they are in our memory.Those people who think about the suicide,don't want to see the reality,they just want to escape from it.We must live and show to others that we are strong and we have dreams to live for...
    There is no person who doesn't think about suicide...
    "You have a choice.Live or die.Every breath is a choice.Every minute is a choice.To be or not to be..."

    September 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm | Report abuse |
    • M.M

      Dear Lilit you are absolutely right. It is not an easy task to adjust the terrible loss of our friends ,reletives etc. Death is the only problem that does not have any solution.And we realize that we are powerless to change anything . But anyway suicide is not a way out of it ...We must realize that it is the law of the nature. People die and it is natural. We must look ahead.I believe that when the God closes one door, he opens the other one....And we must hope ,believe and wait for the door that will be opened for us.

      September 20, 2012 at 4:33 am | Report abuse |
  2. Sam

    Website: http://www.suicidology.org/

    AAS is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the understanding and prevention of suicide. The website is a resource for
    anyone concerned about suicide, including AAS members, suicide researchers, therapists, prevention specialists, survivors of suicide, and people who are themselves in crisis.

    Please people educate yourself and stop judging...you are only adding to the problem when you do this...it is my sincerest prayer that none of you ever have to experience a neurochemical illness or suicide in your life. God bless you all!

    September 14, 2012 at 4:36 pm | Report abuse |
    • Marianna M.

      Dear Sam,first of all thank you for the information about this organization.I don't think that everyone knows about it,but I beleive that from now on it will really make a change. I agree with Kristen,we are really in need of such organizations that will do their best to prevent such cases. But these organizations will work only if people start to realize that in every situtation in our life there is always a way out,and it's not commiting suicide.They should anderstand that there are certain people,professionals,and not only, that are willing to help,share and solve the problems with them,they should understand that they are not alone and that they can also express themselves,explain what's going on inside and be sure that they will find help.I think that most people who commit suicide do it because of loneliness,they feel helpless,and this is the fault of the societies and their indifference towards such cases.Each of us can save one's life if we really care. I want to thank Kristen heartily that she was eager to tell her story to the world,tell how that moment changed her life and maybe this would change the life of many other people.God bless you!

      September 20, 2012 at 3:49 am | Report abuse |
  3. Sam

    Suicide Note

    The following letter was written by David John Bernreuter before he died by suicide on May 12, 1987. David, an astute 22-year-old, was unusually well-informed about his illness. By his own description of his feelings, myths and assumptions about suicide are shattered, and we are allowed an insight into his motivation to end his life. In granting permission for its use, it is the hope of David’s family that the loved ones of other victims may find comfort in David’s words.

    Dear Mom, Dad, and Stephany:

    First, some facts:

    1. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

    2. I KNOW YOU LOVE ME VERY MUCH. If love alone would have made me better, I would be the most well-adjusted man on earth. Please don’t feel that you neglected to tell or show me how much you loved me.

    3. YOU WERE NOT TO BLAME FOR MY CONDITION. I believe my mental illness was the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. A certain percentage of people, from all types of family situations have a major mental illness. It was just the luck of the biological draw that I happened to be one of them. Whether it was Major Depressive Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Manic Depressive Disorder, or Schizophrenia, my mental illness made my “life” unlivable. But you are not to blame for that. So please don’t let yourselves feel guilty.

    4. I KNOW THAT YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS. It won’t be easy, but you will have a lot of support from a lot of friends and relatives. Don’t be like me, the ultimate schizoid loner. Count on the support of your friends and relatives.

    If you only knew what goes on inside my head. I know you will say that I “didn’t try long enough or hard enough.” I have been emotionally disturbed since late childhood. I now have a major mental illness. I tried as long and as hard as I could.

    I’ve had all sorts of suggestions, like: “Repeat positive phrases over and over again. Don’t eat foods with yeast. Take Haldol. Don’t take Haldol. Accept Jesus as my ‘personal Savior.’ Quit smoking. Get a girlfriend.” And the list goes on and on…

    I know that the above suggestions were made with the best intentions, but they lack an understanding of what mental illness is all about. That’s why I found something in common with other people who are mentally ill. When they told me how being mentally ill affects their life, I understood, because my illness affected me in the same way.

    If I were to tell Uncle Ray that I had bought a gun, that I felt suicidal, he would have no alternative but to call the hospital and the police. And before you know it, I’d be back in the hospital. I’d rather be dead.

    It’s not like I killed myself because I didn’t get an A on an exam or because I broke up with my girlfriend. Those are the kinds of depression that have a reason to happen. My depression comes without any help from the outside. Nothing bad has happened to make me depressed except my depression.

    It’s not like I did this “on a lark.” I’ve had over a year to think it over. But I can hardly expect you to understand about something I myself don’t understand. I don’t know why I am the way I am. ‘The man who didn’t see it through.’ That is what this is. If given a chance to choose between an eternity in heaven or another go-round as a human of earth, I’m certain I would choose the latter.

    And now for the business part of this suicide note: Cremate and scatter me (I don’t care where). All my money goes to you. Everything else, too. Do with it what you will, but may I suggest sending a portion of my worldly goods to a mental health research foundation of your choice.”

    As David requested, the family sent a donation to a mental health organization in hopes that someday a cure will be found.

    Permission to reprint from the February 1989 issue granted by Bereavement Magazine,

    September 14, 2012 at 4:32 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Sam

    Two years ago, TCF officially adopted the terms “died by suicide” or died of suicide” to replace the commonly used “committed suicide” or “completed suicide” language. In its press release encouraging other organizations to adopt the new language, TCF noted that “... many suicide deaths are the result of brain disorders or biochemical illnesses such as clinical depression, but the stigma associated with suicide often forces family members to choose between secrecy about the death and social isolation. Their hesitancy to seek the support of the community increases their pain and makes their healing more difficult. Families who have had a child die by suicide are helped in their grief by the use of nonjudgmental language.”

    September 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm | Report abuse |
  5. Sam

    “There is no suffering greater than that which drives people to suicide; suicide defines the moment in which mental pain exceeds the human capacity to bear it. It represents the abandonment of hope.” – John T. Maltsberger, M.D., past president of the American Association of Suicidology, practicing psychiatrist, and teacher at Harvard Medical School.

    September 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm | Report abuse |
  6. Sam

    When Someone Takes His Own Life
    by Norman Vincent Peale

    In many ways, this seems the most tragic form of death. Certainly it can entail more shock and grief for those who are left behind than any other. And often the stigma of suicide is what rests most heavily on those left behind…..

    And my heart goes out to those who are left behind, because I know that they suffer terribly. Children in particular are left under a cloud of differentness all the more terrifying because it can never be fully explained or lifted. The immediate family of the victim is left wide open to tidal waves of guilt: “What did I fail to do that I should have done? What did I do that was wrong?” To such grieving persons I can only say, “Lift up your heads and your hearts. Surely you did your best. And surely the loved one who is gone did his best, for as long as he could. Remember, now, that his battles and torments are over. Do not judge him, and do not presume to fathom the mind of God where this one of His child is concerned.”

    A few years ago, when a young man died by his own hand, a service for him was conducted by his pastor, the Rev. Weston Stevens. What he said that day expresses far more eloquently than I can, the message that I’m trying to convey. Here are some of his words:

    “Our friend died on his own battlefield. He was killed in action fighting a civil war. He fought against adversaries that were as real to him as his casket is real to us. They were powerful adversaries. They took toll of his energies and endurance. They exhausted the last vestiges of his courage and his strength. At last these adversaries overwhelmed him. And it appeared that he had lost the war. But did he? I see a host of victories that he has won!

    “For one thing, he has won our admiration, because even if he lost the war, we give him credit for his bravery on the battlefield. And we give him credit for the courage and pride and hope that he used as his weapons as long as he could. We shall remember not his death, but his daily victories gained through his kindnesses and thoughtfulness, through his love for family and friends, for animals and books and music, for all things beautiful, lovely and honorable. We shall remember not his last day of defeat, but we shall remember the many days that he was victorious over overwhelming odds. We shall remember not the years we thought he had left, but the intensity with which he lived the years that he had. Only God knows what this child of His suffered in the silent skirmishes that took place in his soul. But our consolation is that God does know, and understands.”

    September 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Sam

    Neurochemical illnesses and suicide is everybody's issue and society needs to educate themselves in order to dipsell the stigma and save lives!
    Every 15 minutes someone in the USA dies by suicide. Every 40 seconds someone in the world dies by suicide. Never think that it can't happen to you or your loved ones. It is the 3rd leading cause of death among ages 15-24 and the 4th
    leading cause of death among ages 10-14. The National Conference of State Legislatures (NCSL) reports that teen suicide in 15 to 24 year olds has increased at a rate of about six percent. For those aged 10 to 14, that increase has been 100 percent.
    There are more suicides than homicides and more military men and women die by suicide than in combat. Suicide ranks 10th as a cause of death; Homicide ranks 15th. Suicide was the first leading cause of death for female veterans and the second leading cause of death for male veterans; the Army has had the highest proportional number of suicides compared to the other services.
    Each suicide intimately affects at least 6 other people (estimate). Based on the 787,761 suicides from 1985 through 2009, estimated that the number of survivors of suicides in the U.S. is 4.73 million (1 of every 65 Americans will be affected by suicide.

    September 14, 2012 at 4:25 pm | Report abuse |
  8. Nancy

    I am so sorry this young women got to this point in her life, be thrilled that by the grace of god she survived! My late husbands best friend layed accross the railroad tracks, passed out drunk and had his leggs cut oof too, but he died under the train as paramedics tried to save him. Left behind was his young wife and 3 little children. My husband died in a work related accident that was then followed by 3 suicide attempts by our teenage daughter that was unable to cope with loosing her daddy. Luckily she survived, but she continues to have issues with depression even as a 30 yr old mom of a beuatful 3 yr old boy. I also attempted suicide at the age of 21, I was lucky enough to have a great counselor help me realize my own inner strength and ultimately helped me through all the other difficult times that I would face in the future mentioned above. Suicide is so so sad and yet so short sighted....I hope more people are helped to realize the feeling of that moment are JUST that....that MOMENT! things CAN change and they do.

    September 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm | Report abuse |
    • Lilit

      Nancy, I agree with you ...! This is really bad that women get to this point and I'm happy that your children could get over that sad accident ! In your first example we see, that your husband's best friend didin't thnik about his children, because a father, who loves his children and a husband , who loves his wife will never do such thing..! I hope , that one day everybody will realize that this is not a way out of difficult situation .... !

      September 19, 2012 at 11:53 am | Report abuse |
    • Lilit V.

      Nancy, I agree with you ...! This is really bad that women get to this point and I'm happy that your children could get over that sad accident ! In your first example we see, that your husband's best friend didin't thnik about his children, because a father, who loves his children and a husband , who loves his wife will never do such thing..! 
      People who are on their way to commit a suicide usually need to hear that they can  get through it .
      People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. We should remember that relief is a feeling. And we have to be alive to feel it.
      We should remember that there are people out there who can be with us in any horrible time, and will not judge us, or argue with us. They will simply care for us  Simply we should find o them. 
       I hope , that one day everybody will realize that this is not a way out of difficult situation.

      September 19, 2012 at 12:24 pm | Report abuse |
  9. Robin

    My best friend and soul mate committed suicide 5 years ago. It is something that I will never get over. All the years of my life, all the tragedies that I have endured, some my own doing and some not, I can not imagine leaving my loved ones to bear this anguish for the rest of their lives. On the other hand, I don't think my loved one had a chance of beating their depression. It was the way he viewed himself in relation to the world. There was no medication or counseling that could have changed his mind. He was drug and alcohol free and knew exactly what he was doing. He even left lots of money for everyone. It didn't help ease the pain one bit. Suicide is tragic for anyone who has experienced it.

    September 13, 2012 at 12:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • triciaplumley1

      I'm so sorry for your pain Robin. I cannot imagine how you feel inside. Know that someone out here cares though <3

      September 13, 2012 at 1:54 pm | Report abuse |
    • Lilit Stepanyan

      Dear Robin,, I totally agree with you,! Suicide is evil, And it's very difficult to get over,,You lose your parent, friend, beloved or just a one,,whom u like,,,and it's a hard work to go on living without them,,You feel broken and disappointed,!!! People who were once part of your life, went away,!! It's really awful,, They do not understand it's not way out, They must live and find solutions to their problems,,but not by leaving this world.!! People who are not balanced must turn to their friends or someone close,,to discuss what to do,,,, and find REAL solution, Which is not commiting suicide,!!They are created by God,,and have no rights to end their lives,if HE doesn't want it,!DO NOT take this step ever!!!

      September 19, 2012 at 12:15 pm | Report abuse |
  10. DC

    Suicide is a horrible thing that needs to be addressed on a public level. Our children are being hospitalized as early as five years old with suicidal idealizations. That is not right! We, the people who do not suffer mentally, need to be educated on how to help those that cannot find the way out. Meds are wonderful for some, they don't work for others and for a few they make things worse. There is no easy answer for those that suffer. It is a complex problem that needs to be dealt with not only medically or spiritually but also with support and education. My daughter hung herself at 14 years of age. She was beautiful, athletic, popular,smart and had a great life. She was on meds and seeing a psychologist, had our suppory and went to church regularly. What was missing was the education aspect. We don't "teach" our children how to cope with their emotions, how to redirect etc.. Our family was blessed, my husband found her and despite the Dr.'s telling us she was completely brain damaged, based on MRI's, due to the lack of oxygen for an extended amount of time, she is here with us today. We have continued to work to make her aware of the options and skills she can use if she ever feels hopeless again. We grieve for those that were not as lucky and we pray for help so that no more need to feel such desperation. Suicide is not the answer but it is up to us to help.

    September 13, 2012 at 9:47 am | Report abuse |
    • Nancy

      I agree DC....there is definately a lack of learning coping skills these days in general. We also need to help them learn that somethings we face a times in our lives are very temporary, life has ebbs and flows just like the tide and seasons. I went through 3 suicide attempts with my daughter, she survived and is the mother of a 3 yr old son now. She still has issues with depression, and can easily go to that "dark" way of thinking, although now she has more concern for the care and raising of her son and puts him before herself now. I am sorry for your loss. You sound like a great advocater for others facing this sad issue, your daughter would be proud that you are speaking out on her behalf.

      September 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm | Report abuse |
    • t_lusine

      I agree with You, DC. Yes, You are right that meds are not always the right way for saving someone's life. Some parents just should try to make friends with their children. Because there is a short period of time , when a teenager feels like giving up and feels that he/she is being backed into the wall , but there is no where to run and NO REASON TO MOVE. They try to keep away from everybody. This may be a result of a great disappointment, distress and desperation. And it goes without saying, that they feel sick and tired. But the fact remains, that everything depends on the way they had been brought up and treated. A teenager shouldn't take all the responsibility and shouldn't ever feel ,that she is the MASTER of her/his life and she/he can lead a personal life the way she wants. This may seem somewhat strange, but in some Asian countries children at this age are treated more strictly and are not given the so-called "FREEDOM". And even in the most difficult situations there are really those people surrounding them, who are ready to help them overcome their feelings of hopelessness, disappointment, etc. They should be encouraged and worse examples should be brought to them, tomake them understand, that one shouldn't escape , he/she must be encouraged and be brave , in order to overcome different kinds of difficulties. Thus they will feel safe and the emptiness will be fulfilled. So, a little emotional distress can not be called a clinical depression. These feelings may go away by themselves within a couple of weeks and may not have much effect on a person's life.

      September 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm | Report abuse |
  11. Antiquity

    Suicide has always been the go to response for the weak and the stupid. Consider even the woman, if she deserves to be called that, that the article focuses on. With dead friends, and a "rape" (really, she more than likely went to a party and had drunk sex then regretted it afterwords) instead of finding new friends or somebody to talk to what does she do? Give up and think "Oh well, better to just drape myself over these train tracks". It's also kind of mind boggling to think she managed to lose her legs and nothing else, I mean, how does that even happen if you lay over a couple of rails. Unless, of course, she didn't have suicide on her mind at the time, only putting her legs over the rails, in an attempt to gain as much pity attention as possible.

    September 13, 2012 at 9:38 am | Report abuse |
    • Jen

      You have no idea of the complexity of suicide and less of an understanding of rape. I blame rapes and suicide on people like you. Until you have had a direct hands on experience, maybe you should shut your pie hole. Your bullying ways are deplorable. Trying understanding rather than judging.

      September 13, 2012 at 10:18 am | Report abuse |
    • Rose

      Oh please tell me that you do not have a profession where you counsel others, especially young people or those who have experienced trauma! Your remarks are not only hurtful; they can only come from a place of profound ignorance and a complete inability to be empathetic. How sad for you! If reincarnation is real, I think it is a safe bet you’ll be coming around again.

      September 13, 2012 at 10:34 am | Report abuse |
    • mizzbee

      Why are you making assumptions about a woman you do not know? I feel sorry for your spouse and children, if you have any.

      September 13, 2012 at 10:47 am | Report abuse |
    • Ro Mar

      The only thing you have displayed here is your abject ignorance on all related topic material. Seek an education. I

      September 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • inphinity9@yahoo.com

      I can't figure out if you are truly as ignorant as you appear, or are just a troll.

      September 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm | Report abuse |
      • duh

        Clearly a troll. Move along.

        September 13, 2012 at 12:44 pm | Report abuse |
    • Nate

      I agree, people that are selfless and pitiful are begging for the attention. How do you survive suicide? Because A) your not smart enough to off yourself, and B) you are wanting the attention of the aftermath. Why can't these people be normal and deal with lifes changes as we ALL go through them. It's a real disappointment seeing how many people here are making this world such a weak and messed up society. Why are we praising people for trying and failing at killing themselves? Why are we praising teenage mothers? The whole "feel sorry for her because she was sad" mentality or weak, and you all need to realize there is more than just yourself out there, there are bigger problems, as many of the generations before us would say, why don't you grow a pair!

      September 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm | Report abuse |
      • Ann

        "growing a pair" will not help, Nate. Men are also vulnerable to depression and suicide, and telling them to 'man up' will not snap them out of it. It is possible you will never experience depression, but then again, you might. And then, maybe, you will understand.

        September 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm | Report abuse |
        • Nate

          WAHHH WAHH WAHH, look at you all crying over this. What could you possibly be so sad about? Did you nail polish get smudged and you don't have time to fix it before your first date at a PG movie?? You all are the same people that give kids trophies just for being there. Why should we praise someone who "can't" get over it? Why should we praise and congratulate someone for trying to kill themselves? If its a condition where they will suffer in an agonizing pain for many years, then put them down upon request. Like a dog that got hit by a car. Don't feel sorry for some kid that thinks their life is over because Billy dumped them for the popular girl. There's always something you can do to blow off the steam and clear your head. Go workout maybe? America could use some of that. There are plenty of people to talk to if you want sympathy.

          September 13, 2012 at 6:48 pm | Report abuse |
        • Qnarik Janazyan

          Dear Ann,I totally agree with you..Men as well as women are inclined to suicide and there can't be a question of manliness.No one is ensured and no one knows what may happen.So there can be such situations that even the strongest one may think of suicide.Will he commit it or no this is another question! All of us have problems and in my opinion there is no one who hasn't experienced depression. Some people are more impressionable and they can give up easily,so the stronger ones should help them to cope with and not to judge,cause God is the only sincere judge and finally if you have a problem don't tell to God how great is your problem,tell to your problem how great is your God:))

          September 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm | Report abuse |
      • Sam

        Nate my son had childhood-onset Schizophrenia and died by suicide at the age of 20. You are obviously lacking in education, compassion, and empathy. I watched my son battle his illness and slowly die in front of me physically, mentally, and spiritually before he ever died from suicide. Unitl people like you and the rest of our society educates themselves about neurochemical illnesses and suicide and have compassion and empathy,suicide will continue to rise at an alarming rate. I thank God that you have not ever had to deal with a neurochemical illness or suicide in your life.

        September 14, 2012 at 4:18 pm | Report abuse |
      • Lilit Vardanyan H.

        Dear Nate you are right I agree with you.We all have our culpability that dozens of people make this desperate attempt.The society baits all the people who have made mistakes during their life instead of encouraging them.We must be changed in order to prevent this terrible step.The fault is in all of us.We live one life and let's live it like a man but not like a backbiter...

        September 20, 2012 at 3:22 am | Report abuse |
    • Nancy

      OMG!!! Antiquity!!!! have you never heard the phrase "if you have nothing NICE to say, then say NOTHING!" You are one sicko! No compassion or understanding on your part AT ALL! You haven't a clue on the causes of depression and certainly none for people who get to the point of suicide. UNPLUG your GOD DAMNED COMPUTER you BEAST!!!!

      September 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm | Report abuse |
  12. Believer

    I too survived a suicide attempt 28 years ago. I was so desperate to get out of my marriage. I thought I was letting down our daughters. Today, I celebrate life everyday with its ups and its downs. The message to anyone comtemplating suicide or making a snap decision to find a way out: Think of your family and the people you care about, hang on to hope because things do get better and the feelings of desperation, lonliness will pass.....

    September 13, 2012 at 8:41 am | Report abuse |
    • Jen

      No they don't always pass... there are some situations that should be allowed. Who are you to tell others what to do? Stop judging and start caring.

      September 13, 2012 at 10:20 am | Report abuse |
      • Really

        Jen it sounds like you are in need of some therapy...

        One thing is for certain whether times are good or bad they will change. People handle stress in different ways and things do change...people get better, and people do feel hopeless suicide has been around since the begininning of time, and it will be around until the end of time, the good news is now we now more about it so we can help to prevent some, but never ALL

        September 13, 2012 at 10:32 am | Report abuse |
        • Ro Mar

          Really,

          I suspect Jen was referring to situations, for example, where an individual is terminally ill with a hideously painful disease. Death with dignity.

          September 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • Seda Badalyan

      Dear Believer, I am happy that you survived your suicide attept.Suicide is something that I will never accept.The world needed you that's why you were born.We should never forget that all problems have their solutions.Whatever happens to us,we should find self-control.Didn't you think about those who love you? It would be a great pain for them...Now I'm sure you bless the God,you are satisfied with your life and when you look back,you feel stronger,as you overcame your problems.Life wouldn't be interesting without disappointments.We meet them almost every day and they make us stronger.LIFE IS GIVEN ONCE...so let's enjoy every minute and look ahead:))

      September 19, 2012 at 2:03 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Jen

    The stigma of suicide... I really don't feel bad if someone wants or needs to end their life for medical reasons. Why should they have to suffer? Answer; they don't and shame on all of you for your attitude towards relieving their pain. It is their life, and their decision. I have two close friends who committed this final act and one who has failed twice. I do not hold it against them... I remember them in better times.

    September 13, 2012 at 8:38 am | Report abuse |
    • Jamie

      This is why I'm in favor of legalizing physician-assisted suicide, like they have in Switzerland. Go to youtube and watch the documentary "Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die". Very moving.

      September 13, 2012 at 9:20 am | Report abuse |
    • Rima Avagyan

      I agree with you dear Jen...It's our life and our problems must be solved only by us...And sometimes there is no way out,we just don't know what to do...There are people who have strong will and are very flexible...But there are ones who don't have enough will in order to get out of this or that situation...Our friends and relatives can't every minute be with us in order to keep us away from this desperate act...We don't have a right to blame them for that act....THEY AREN'T GUILTY THAT WERE BORN SPIRITUALLY WEAK....WE SHOULD LOVE THEM AS THEY ARE....

      September 19, 2012 at 2:36 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Amy

    I'm impressed to buy your book too, just have to look hard for it English here in Japan. Hope it has a photo of you that I can share with my 2 girls. I've personal helped my little brother, my best friend in high school, and one of my cousins not commit suicide, and choose to live instead for all of its benefits in the end . This was back in years of 1995 and 2002. Be Well !!!!!

    September 13, 2012 at 7:40 am | Report abuse |
  15. Amy

    Blessings to you , a very pretty mommy. May your little boy be so blessed to have YOU in his life ! Kristen, keep up the Faith in your Ministry for the troubled at heart !

    September 13, 2012 at 7:30 am | Report abuse |
  16. me

    4 shots of vodka and a tramadol. See you in the morning.

    September 13, 2012 at 5:38 am | Report abuse |
  17. Your Panties in Texas

    Kristen Jane Anderson is a very beautiful, precious young woman.

    September 13, 2012 at 4:08 am | Report abuse |
  18. Robert B

    I would like to say that I personally know Kristin, her Dad, Mom and have meet her brother and sister. Wonderful people who at a very low point in my life and that of my wife befriended us and sheltered us with Gods love. These are awesome people and Kirstin's testimony is true and honest. I (we) are so proud of her and her dedication to saving lives, that whatever other people say cannot touch or hurt her ministry because it is ordained and sanctified by Jesus Christ . Bless you Kristin and keep up the great work.

    September 13, 2012 at 1:20 am | Report abuse |
  19. LizPhantom

    Anyone that wants to commit suicide, will, and they will be successful at it. Those that are just really depressed and screaming, will try,and fail. BTDT 3x . . .

    September 13, 2012 at 1:07 am | Report abuse |
  20. Lyd

    R.E.M put it best, Everybody Hurts...........

    September 13, 2012 at 12:35 am | Report abuse |
  21. Bill

    Those of you speaking negatively about Kristen have no idea what you are saying. If you knew her you would be writing different messages. She is special. Read her book if you get a chance.

    September 13, 2012 at 12:15 am | Report abuse |
  22. Joe

    For me, having a form of Autism that is called Sensory Integration Disorder has led to personal attempts at committing suicide. Family love is a great medicine.

    September 13, 2012 at 12:07 am | Report abuse |
  23. Sara

    About 5 years ago, I also was going to commit suicide. I had 2 beautiful little daughters; 2.5 years old and less than 1 year old at the time. I was so depressed; a childhood of sexual abuse, neglect, and violent interactions had rendered me very disturbed. In addition, I had found out that my husband cheated on me right before we were married. All of these things led me to plan my demise. I even kissed my babies goodbye that night - it was going to happen.

    However, since then (and hospitalization with medication, which he rendered on me involuntarily), I have redefined my sense of existence, and returned to valuing life. As a result, I've had another child with my husband, and we have worked through many things, and have become closer.

    If I had taken my life that night, I would have never known the joy of life I have now. For that, I am grateful. Most of all, I want to say I understand... and I want for others to truly understand... even if you don't know what it's like, please... understand.

    September 13, 2012 at 12:01 am | Report abuse |
    • Deborah

      Call me...collect @ 562-439-4959 ( Be real..if yu are a wacko...karma will get you)

      September 13, 2012 at 1:30 am | Report abuse |
      • dalewalk

        Oh, just go away with your shallow attempt at heroism Deborah

        September 13, 2012 at 2:10 am | Report abuse |
  24. fritz

    II'm glad that young woman figured it out. I've read about this 'depression' thing. But don't really understand it. I've been bummed out before but I don't think it's the same thing. I discovered long ago that life never bummed me out. It was other people. I just learned not to get too close to them. It probably made me into a sociopath of sorts although a peaceful one. Cynicism has been my shield against my fellow humans. As long as I'm on my guard and think the worst in them I'm rarely disappointed. Then when I run into those few good folks it's an interesting surprise. I guess I'm among the lucky many who don't get depressed or want to do the suicide thing for whatever reason. When things get me down, like today's news stories, I sometimes go stare at that crazy hubble picture of thousands of galaxies and realize I'm looking at a speck of sky smaller than a sand grain. I think, 'there is all of that and perhaps more and here I am lookng back at it'. I wonder how many of those countless galaxies I'd have to search to find thinking creatures like me? All my troubles kinda fade into the backround after all that sinks in. Then I just go on with life thinking how lucky I am to have existed, even if it's just an eyeblink in all of time.

    September 12, 2012 at 11:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • Bangalorean

      Wow Man even i think the same. ,, though i am a chronic depression patient. i never anti depressent. i take chocolate and comedy movie for relief.

      September 13, 2012 at 3:58 am | Report abuse |
  25. Loyal Northern Democrat

    Too bad she failed. However, I expect to see her on the welfare lists soon. That is sad. A female is born with all the parts that are usable for a good income. Especially if she swallows.

    September 12, 2012 at 11:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • mcewen16

      You're declaring yourself a Democrat, but complaining about adding another name to the welfare list? (Something, by the way, that has nothing at all to do with the article.) I'm pretty sure if the other "Loyal Democrats" continue to have their way, EVERYONE will be considered on the welfare list–"usable parts" and all.

      September 12, 2012 at 11:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • Susie Survivor

      Dear Disloyal Southern Republocrat, Obviously you are one sick cookie...Like your name listed here-I suspect that's as fake as you are....My guess is you are actually a Republican-likely a Tea Party/Libertarian-an antagonist to be more exact...who hates Democrats but love attention-so you set up a fake name with an outlandish comment-that would make people think that's how Dems are...Well, you no doubt hooked a few suckers but you obviously have some serious "Mommy" issues...and are a serious threat to society-Get Help!....

      September 12, 2012 at 11:59 pm | Report abuse |
      • Nah

        Please learn to spot trolls.

        September 13, 2012 at 12:37 am | Report abuse |
    • Bill

      you have no idea what you are saying. Kristen is a very, very special person

      September 13, 2012 at 12:06 am | Report abuse |
    • Erose

      Northern Democrart you need help ..your one sick puppy...!

      September 13, 2012 at 12:23 am | Report abuse |
    • a person

      You are an absolute creep.

      September 13, 2012 at 12:26 am | Report abuse |
  26. Bribarian

    This country is so messed up, it's no surprise people want to suicide.

    September 12, 2012 at 10:40 pm | Report abuse |
    • Want to suicide?!

      You say "want to suicide" like someone "wants to dance". Grammar, my friend, grammar.

      September 12, 2012 at 10:45 pm | Report abuse |
      • Dena

        I've seen people use suicide as a verb ("to suicide"). Not sure how grammatically correct it is, though, because I don't spend any time thinking about killing myself.

        September 12, 2012 at 10:53 pm | Report abuse |
    • Bribarian

      really dont care about grammar on an internet forum you little f4ggot

      September 12, 2012 at 10:50 pm | Report abuse |
    • mccccc

      Me fail english, thats unpossible

      September 13, 2012 at 12:35 am | Report abuse |
  27. WolfenRaven

    58 years old. Think about it every waking second. Still rocking on!!!!! Mama did it, I tried it. Didn't like it. And yet...........

    September 12, 2012 at 10:02 pm | Report abuse |
    • KandyKane

      I don't know you personally, Wolfen, but I'm sure glad you're still rockin on! :-)

      September 12, 2012 at 11:10 pm | Report abuse |
    • Josh

      Keep the faith, WR. You are valuable and worthy of respect and love. I don't know your circumstance, but what I can tell you is what keeps me going; the love of Jesus Christ. He changed my life and took away my depression and suicidal feelings. If you call on His name, He will help you too. God bless.

      September 12, 2012 at 11:23 pm | Report abuse |
      • George Washington

        I am glad for you, Josh, that someone named "Jesus" helped you feel better.

        Someone named "Mohammed" helped by cousin Samantha. She is happy now because of him.

        Last week I talked to my aunt June. I hadn't talked with her for three years. She told me last week that her life has changed because she has accepted "Buddha" into her life.

        It seems there are many kind spirit helpers. For people who can't find help from "Jesus," maybe one of the other helpers will be of service. I humbly request that Nature and Nature's Creator embrace all people and help all people to feel good.

        Life is really beautiful. You just need to get out of your own way to feel the beauty. Love to all sad people.

        September 13, 2012 at 1:27 am | Report abuse |
  28. joy barua

    it is bad but somebody fell it is better end pain,maybe often fell it end is better life,
    everything nothing ,,life is heard wear !!

    September 12, 2012 at 9:54 pm | Report abuse |
  29. wavejump1100

    what a loser. can she do anything right? light a bag of charcoal in a small room, close the door and the windows, take a xanax with a beer and go to sleep forever.

    September 12, 2012 at 9:48 pm | Report abuse |
    • wavejump1100

      dont do this. it was supposed to be funny but its not

      September 12, 2012 at 9:51 pm | Report abuse |
    • wavejump1100

      MODERATOR, please remove my comments from this page.

      September 12, 2012 at 10:34 pm | Report abuse |
  30. wavejump1100

    what a loser. cant even commit suicide properly. can she do anything right? light a bag of charcoal in a small room, close the door and the windows, take a xanax with a beer and go to sleep forever.

    September 12, 2012 at 9:47 pm | Report abuse |
    • wavejump1100

      again not really a good idea, just a poor attempt at humor.

      September 12, 2012 at 9:57 pm | Report abuse |
  31. someone

    To everyone who has ever felt lonely, unloved and worthless: I love you.

    September 12, 2012 at 9:44 pm | Report abuse |
    • Someone Lonely

      Thank you...

      September 12, 2012 at 9:48 pm | Report abuse |
    • Bmat

      Thank you!

      September 12, 2012 at 10:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kevin O'Brien

      I made a suicide attempt last May and I hope that no one ever feels the pain and self hatred that I felt that night. My Neighbors found me and called the Honolulu Police who took me to the hospital. The care and compassion that was shown to me by the police, my neighbors and the hospital staff was awesome. If my neighbors hadn't have found me I would have been dead. The care and compassion showed to me by so many strangers has given my life new meaning. Sure, I still get depressed and I'm being treated for it at the VA Hospital, and today I have hope.
      I'm not going to be the one who quits five minutes before the miracle happens. If you are a Veteran please go to the VA and get help. You earned it and deserve it.

      September 12, 2012 at 10:35 pm | Report abuse |
      • Josh

        Glad you're okay Kevin. I just want to tell you that Jesus loves you tonight. God bless.

        September 12, 2012 at 11:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kevin O'Brien

      Thank you so much.

      September 12, 2012 at 10:37 pm | Report abuse |
    • Someone else

      Thanks! I love you too buddy :) Anyone else who needs to hear it, I love you also. Keep on keepin on folks, you can do it!

      September 12, 2012 at 10:46 pm | Report abuse |
  32. Gurv

    Whether you're desperate for attention, trying to be funny or just a horrible human being comments like yours always make me wonder what a person has done to lose their soul and drift so far away from human decency that you could actually type something like this and then be capable of hitting post. I'm not going to ask what's wrong with you because it doesn't matter - whatever it is you still deserve pity, that someone like you is so inhuman.

    September 12, 2012 at 9:43 pm | Report abuse |
  33. Julie

    Depression feels like a deep dark tunnel with no light at the end. It comes over you and you don't know how many hours, or days, or weeks it is going to last. It is mental and can be physical anguish. You don't have control over it; it is not something you can will away. It is a biochemical imbalance and for some medicine helps. I know what I am talking about because I have battled it off and on for much of my life. Objectively I know my life has value and eventually I will come out the other side. In the middle of it though, it can be overwhelming. I hope I don't subcome the next time it comes, but I can understand why some people do. For survivors, don't blame yourselves. The person suffering can hide it quite well. They can be okay in one moment while they are with you, then suddenly when alone, just plummet. If you struggle with depression, don't be ashamed, talk with a doctor and try different meds until you find something that helps. Think of the condition as being like someone who needs to take thyroid medicine, or like when a diabetic needs to take medicine or insulin. You just have to get that biochemistry back into balance. Exercise and good nutrition – fresh fruits and vegetables and vitamins help, too. Develop a good support system to talk with others who understand really helps, too. Learning to ask for what you need, like a hug from someone you trust, helps. Every little bit helps and remembering to take life one day at a time. I have to constantly tell myself this.

    September 12, 2012 at 9:37 pm | Report abuse |
    • mcewen16

      I love that you pointed out the "objective" part of you vs. the part of you that's subject to depression. It's so true. I also suffer from major depression, and I can explain that I "know" certain things even though, when I'm depressed, my feelings are so completely, achingly, and convincingly different. I think that's hard for people who haven't suffered from depression to understand.

      September 12, 2012 at 9:45 pm | Report abuse |
    • Willie

      You are ABSOLUTELY right,Julie...I've "been there and back!" I had a number of electroshock treatments that worked wonders.Now,I take daily prescribed doses of Lithium..and eat fish 2-3 times a week.

      September 12, 2012 at 10:39 pm | Report abuse |
  34. ZZ

    Uh...theres no such thing as 'suicide attempt survival' you're just an annoying crybaby who wants attention. the story just screams it. no1 gives 2 sh!ts about you, dont put this garbage on CNN

    September 12, 2012 at 9:28 pm | Report abuse |
    • mcewen16

      If you think no one cares about this article, how do you think they feel about your hurtful and ignorant comment? Take YOURSELF off CNN.

      September 12, 2012 at 9:36 pm | Report abuse |
    • Jl

      ZZ you are a very heartless cold person. I am not sure what kind of life you have but I am sure it is lonely and joyless

      September 12, 2012 at 9:38 pm | Report abuse |
    • Julie

      ZZ I truly hope you are never in a position where you lose all hope. I know from personal experience it is a very deep and dark place and a comment like yours certainly wouldn't help anyone out of the darkness. I suppose she should have just pulled up her boot straps....common comment from those who have never experienced depression. A higher power saved her just as I was saved once in the same position. No I wasn't being revengeful, wasn't looking for attention I just lost all hope. But for a phone call from someone I had not heard from in yrs and haven't since I would have ended my life. Life is tough enough without deliberate mean spirted comments meant to hurt.

      September 12, 2012 at 10:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kevin O'Brien

      You are a sad human being. I hope that you get the help you need.

      September 12, 2012 at 10:44 pm | Report abuse |
    • Proudly SA woman

      Clearly you were never hugged as a child

      September 13, 2012 at 10:03 am | Report abuse |
  35. mcewen16

    To those who are calling suicide a selfish solution: First of all, anyone who's contemplated, attempted, or committed suicide needs your love and understanding–not your condescension. Second, you clearly do not understand the minds of many depressed people who reach the point of suicide. Depression warps your mind in so many ways, and one of the most significant is a complete destruction of self-worth. When you're depressed, it's so easy to see yourself as a burden to the world. You come to believe you have nothing to contribute that is worth the sheer effort of keeping you alive. Even if you have a child that you love and cherish, you may even believe that your child would be better off without you–that another person, a WHOLE person, could raise the cherished baby better than you could. To anyone who's felt that way, I don't care who you are, IT'S NOT TRUE, and no one could take your place in life, whatever struggles you have. You belong on this earth as much as anyone, and I hope you'll get the help you need to make your time on earth easier and happier for you. But those who judge you as selfish for wanting to leave all of this behind just don't understand how deeply depression manipulates your sense of self and reason. Have a heart, people. Try being a little less selfish yourself, in your desire to validate yourself by placing judgments on others, and reach out to those who may need an extra hand.

    September 12, 2012 at 9:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • someone

      THANK YOU. The very last thing people should do is make the suicide or attempt at abou themselves. Instead, get help for the person.

      THinking about berating the person or "making them made enough to prove you wrong?" Congratulations for reinforcing the feelings of worthlessness and despair that lead to suicide!

      If you don't know how to approach the person, talk to your local Suicide Prevention group or Survivors of Suicide. They'll tell you how to help you friend.

      September 12, 2012 at 9:40 pm | Report abuse |
    • laura

      Thank you for that statement. I have had depression in my teen years, post partum after both my boys, and I am in it now. After my first child, I felt like my husband and son deserved more. I wasn't going to kill myself, but i thought they would be better off without me in their day to day life. I considered leaving my family to go anywhere else because it couldn't be good for my family to deal with my depression. I told my husband to find someone to have a physical relationship with and that I wouldn't be mad at him for it.

      Depression can twist things in your brain to the point where sometimes I can't even believe I thought some of the things I have during a depression episode. You are so low it feels like you have fallen below the floor and you can't get back up. It is the most horrible feeling to think that this pain will never end.

      When someone has depression, sometimes all they need is someone to say they care and that they are heard. However, it can be so bad that there is nothing you can say as a friend or family member to make it better. That is when help is required. PLEASE get the person you love help because the longer it goes untreated the harder it is to believe that it will ever GET BETTER!

      September 12, 2012 at 11:47 pm | Report abuse |
  36. Burns

    Women just aren't as good at killing themselves, men jump off buildings and shoot themselves, women use pills and shallow cuts.

    September 12, 2012 at 9:19 pm | Report abuse |
    • Duh

      Please.....demonstrate for us.

      September 13, 2012 at 5:17 am | Report abuse |
  37. Team Four Star Frieza

    'Suicide is a cowards way out' Although If anyone lost everyone they cared for and was physically hurt and dehumanized, it would be very hard not to attempt it. Very few have a strong enough will and a great enough hope to survive such an ordeal. The stress alone is enough to weaken your health critically. Although some people may have other coping methods that would instead of being affected by such horror directly, they may have a shield of anger and vengeance that would keep them alive for the moment.

    September 12, 2012 at 9:02 pm | Report abuse |
  38. unowhoitsme

    Kristen, Thanks for your wonderful inspirational story.

    September 12, 2012 at 8:58 pm | Report abuse |
  39. jerome

    Bill .... you are a sorry excuse and must have one miserable life to make a comment like you did.

    September 12, 2012 at 8:50 pm | Report abuse |
  40. lonelygrrl

    I tried to kill myself a few years ago after I lost my child to foster care because of something my husband had perpetrated. I felt my life was over. In one day my son was in foster care and my husband was in jail. I felt I had no other recourse. I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills and downed some alcohol. I then took a bath and just walked around my house just waiting for the pills to take effect. I laid in the bed and finally felt the pills kicking in. My heart was racing.
    When I did finally feel them take effect I freaked out. We didn't have a phone at the time and my cell phone was broken so I thought I was in trouble because I didn't have a way to call for help. When I began to freak out I heard my husband's cell phone ring and I grabbed it and called 911. The 911 operator was very nice and saved my life.
    An ambulance came and took me to the hospital and I got admitted for 72 hours. It was kind of like jail because you couldn't leave or go near the door.
    I am better now, but it took a while. I have a wonderful new husband and after 10 months I regained custody of my son. Everything worked out in the end. I feel so blessed now.
    One of the things that hurt me the most after my suicide attempt is the fact that my ex-husband joked it online like it was funny.

    September 12, 2012 at 8:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • unowhoitsme

      Lonelygrrl...good for you...your story is an ispiration to all who read it. Life IS worth living...focusing on the needs of others will get anyone through hard times. We just need to take the spotlight off ourselves for a few moments and focus on the people that love us and that would desperately miss us if we were gone. Your child needed YOU! Wonderful ending to your story.

      September 12, 2012 at 8:56 pm | Report abuse |
  41. Imsocuteicantstandit

    Life is hard for everybody unless your name is Paris Hilton or Ivanka Trump...I don't understand why a family member or loved one would think that just because they talk to their depressed loved one means that things will automatically get better and their dark thoughts will disappear. In a twisted way I do feel that if ppl are that miserable and have tried to get all the help they can and still see no way out, then I could understand why they would take their own life–after all, it is THEIR life, and why should somebody tell you how you should live it, or force you to keep living if you don't want to be here?

    September 12, 2012 at 8:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • JZ

      Another F***** American scam she will write a book seel it to idiots i been always wondering what in the wolrd Americans North have it all (food shelter etc) and Depressed i wish president obama will listen to me one day take the American cityzenship from idots like her send it to jones burgo or the moon give that opportunitty Cityznship) to smart strong efficiant people like me america will become stronger and also killing homosexuals.

      September 12, 2012 at 8:44 pm | Report abuse |
      • JZ Sucks

        Holy Crow you're officially the stupidest person on the planet. I bet your mommy is proud of her scumbucket.

        September 12, 2012 at 9:09 pm | Report abuse |
      • Ziggy

        Wow, you need help!

        September 12, 2012 at 9:23 pm | Report abuse |
  42. mickey1313

    Most people who fail at suicide are crying out for help, but not all. Sometimes someone just can not find a way. I know that I, when I was younger tried 3 times, in different ways. And the only thing that ended my atempts was a promise to my mother. It has kept me alive for over a decaide.

    September 12, 2012 at 8:26 pm | Report abuse |
  43. Imsocuteicantstandit

    In some ways I can see how suicide is selfish...if you have kids and a spouse or loved ones I feel they should be a constant reminder of why you should keep on living. However, I understand that some ppl are so depressed that they see no other way out. On the other hand I feel that for some ppl no matter how much family, friends and loved ones you have it doesn't stop the dark thoughts.

    September 12, 2012 at 8:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • mickey1313

      I agree, then only thing in my openion that obligates someone not to end there suffering, is haveing a child under there care. Other then that, if you can not take the horror of this awful world, it is no one elses business if you wish to leave it.

      September 12, 2012 at 8:28 pm | Report abuse |
    • someone

      Those responsibilities can become overwhelming. Sometimes the spouse is abusive.

      September 12, 2012 at 9:48 pm | Report abuse |
  44. Trooper

    Whenever I feel low, I go on YouTube and type in "George W Bush" and suddenly all life makes sense.

    Take courage and hang in there like Kristen did. Who knows what joys tomorrow has in store.

    September 12, 2012 at 8:23 pm | Report abuse |
  45. Edwin

    Your comment is truly repugnant... though I have to admit, even as offensive as it is, it is less offensive than some of the truly awful stuff posted on this board.

    September 12, 2012 at 8:10 pm | Report abuse |
  46. mileswells

    This beautiful soul took time out of her day to meet me for coffee on a snowy Chicago February day when I was having a tough time. There are many of us like me who when we hear a train coming think about stepping in front of it. Just spending time with Kristin and experiencing her joy and warmth helped to talk me down from the ledge. What she does now by speaking to teens and young women about her story is beautiful and inspiring.

    September 12, 2012 at 7:36 pm | Report abuse |
  47. Carol

    I have to admit, the last 5 years have been full of loss for me, my Mom, sister & 2 of my dogs...my dogs are my children since I don't have children. There have been times where i've wondered if i could go on, wondered how to do it if I actually could do it, but than it's gone. I have my down moments, being disappointed in life by those closest to you in addition to loss is very hard to deal with. Yes, i've been to a therapist, never really shared this because I have a grip on life. I know how it feels to be the one left behind from someone committing suicide. For 25 years my sister fought with substance abuse, depression & bipolar. She tried suicide a few times, none successful, but her life was so very hard. She'd have her good months, than not so good days. I thought after our Mom died she'd lose it, but she didn't...right away anyway. A little more than 2 years after my Mom died one of my dogs died suddenly & I was heartbroken. My sister was upset when I told her about it. Seven weeks later I got a call from the sheriffs office tellling me they found my sisters body. I won't get into any details, but I miss her so much after 3 years it still feels like yesterday. So many times i want to email or call her just to say hi, ask her advice about something, but I can't. She did leave a letter for me detailing how she felt, sorry for what she did to me with her suicide & telling me to live my life to the fullest.
    As much as her suicide hurts so deeply, she's away from the demons that chased her for so long. I really believe she found her eutopia! Miss you forever and a day Robin!

    September 12, 2012 at 7:35 pm | Report abuse |
    • Edwin

      I am so sorry for all of your pain and loss.

      September 12, 2012 at 7:42 pm | Report abuse |
    • RK

      Well,

      At least you have found the openness to talk about this. A lot of people keep quiet about these things and suffer by themselves. They say, the mind has the capacity to heal as long as the suffering is shared.

      September 12, 2012 at 8:16 pm | Report abuse |
  48. Dr. of Education

    @ Bill – please, keep your jokes to more appropriate topics – this is not one. Have some empathy for someone who experienced something so tragic they found themselves standing on active train tracks – you might be in the situation in the future, and then, where will your miracle come from? Who will be there to help you? Not with these evil words.

    September 12, 2012 at 7:33 pm | Report abuse |
    • Margaret

      Empathy is in short supply these days. Look at all the people who cheer letting people die who don't have health insurance.

      September 12, 2012 at 8:05 pm | Report abuse |
  49. jc31

    I can proudly state that the three restaurants I manage in the Milwaukee area are donating a portion of its proceeds to a foundation that fights depression. Visit Harry's bar and grill, the knick, or nsb bar and grill tonight.

    September 12, 2012 at 7:25 pm | Report abuse |
  50. Me

    I consider suicide sometimes. But I have too much to live for so I battle on. No body knows, nobody sees. I hide my depression. Nobody knows.

    September 12, 2012 at 6:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • Seriously?

      Yet on occasion you step out of the shadows, even if it's just your one foot, into that short glimmer of light. Believe in hope and a new life, there is a way out of such depression! "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans not to harm you, but to give you a hope and new life" (Bible book Jeremiah chapter 29 verse 31). Many have stepped out, why not take another step before the Lord and ask for God to shine a light on your path, that through your trials and sufferings, you may yet find a joy in life.

      September 12, 2012 at 7:00 pm | Report abuse |
      • Me

        Its not all the time. I cal them my black moods. But yes seriously.

        September 12, 2012 at 7:05 pm | Report abuse |
      • Kenny

        Why are you saying "seriously" to this person. As a Christian, it seems, shouldn't you be offering guidance not judgment. I mean be firm but not callous.

        September 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm | Report abuse |
      • Tightrope Walker

        Many of us are constantly walking along a thin line between hope and despair, and don't believe in god and jesus, because to me religion seems like a drug or a crutch to slough off the responsibility we are supposed to take on ourselves. Please don't throw god and jesus in our face as the salve that will heal of life's pain. There are many people who are intelligent, thoughtful, and have difficulting handling all the garbage the world throws at them sometimes. Better to reach out as a caring person and let them know that they are valuable and loved for themselves, and their presence on earth, and not because of some words in a book or a mystical deity that does not do anything for anyone.

        September 12, 2012 at 9:57 pm | Report abuse |
    • Dasha

      you are a treasure. each and every person is important in this world. you play a role
      in the cycle of life.......look for the beauty that surrounds you each day. The amazing
      sunsets, the gentle wind and appreciate what you do have rather than focus on what
      you are missing. It really helps. I send you peace, love and harmony always~ May
      sunshine fill your life with joy!

      September 12, 2012 at 7:04 pm | Report abuse |
      • Me

        Somehow none of that applies to me. But thanks anyway. I am not going to hurt myself don't worry about that. I am strong enough to do that. I have too many people relying on me. But that doesn't stop the thoughts. You really can't help me. I don't know why I even wrote this. Bye.

        September 12, 2012 at 7:12 pm | Report abuse |
        • bulfinch

          Hello, Me - I'll just offer this: life on this planet - whether it is beautiful, agonizing, or even unbearably dull - is such a strange, absurd and ultimately mysterious thing, that it's really a grizzly crime to edit yourself out of it. It is, for lack of a better way of putting it, to miss the point completely; to become fixated or depressed by one or two facets and reject the billions of other facets is like passing judgement on someone after having caught a glimpse of them speeding by at 120 mph . I have no religious bent when I implore you to do the following: take the whole sick, sweet, insane phantasmagoria that is life and experience it as deeply and as possible. This doesn't mean climbing the summit of Everest or skydiving or whatever - just experience; movement. Indulge those five senses to their maximum. Even a life of sitting in front of the same exact window for thirty years would yield up something more rich and wonderful and tragic and bizarre than the ultimately unimaginative.

          September 12, 2012 at 7:57 pm | Report abuse |
      • Chris

        Are you aware that saying things like "I wish you peace love and happiness" and "may sunshine fill your life with joy" makes me, when I'm depressed, want to punch your teeth out? It doesn't make anything better AT ALL. You should try to be understanding instead of blowing fake rainbows up people's ar-ses.

        September 12, 2012 at 7:41 pm | Report abuse |
        • Edwin

          Chris: a lot of people do not understand depression - they think it is merely lots of sadness. They think that if they can give you happy thoughts it will fix things. Dasha means well, but you are right that she does not appear to understand.

          September 12, 2012 at 7:47 pm | Report abuse |
    • charles

      I'm sorry to hear. I struggle with it too, sometimes. My favorite quote is also my favorite piece of advice:

      "If you're feeling helpless, help someone."

      September 12, 2012 at 7:15 pm | Report abuse |
      • kacey

        That sounds very good but when you have clinical depression it's often hard to just get out of bed. My daughter has been suffering with depression for many years, medications have not worked for her, and she tries to do so much just to keep her mind off herself but at the end of the day, it's still the same horrible feeling and that is what she wakes up with almost every morning. Depression is hard to treat and hard to live with. Anyone suffering with depression needs all the understanding and help we can give them. I am disgusted by some of the callous comments appearing here.

        September 12, 2012 at 9:58 pm | Report abuse |
    • Walt

      Years ago I did, too. I had a plan. I rehearsed it. I went for a long while not knowing if I'd be alive a week into the future. But I kept putting one foot in front of another and at some point the breakthrough question came: "There is something in living, isn't there?" I realized there was. It was still a long way out, but I knew I was headed out. Today I have a wife and two beautiful children, a fulfilling career, God's grace, and the grateful thought that I didn't make that most final of decisions.

      September 12, 2012 at 7:17 pm | Report abuse |
    • Me

      I read the replies and decided to write more, even though I wasn't going to. I am not in a bad mood today. Today I am neutral. No black moods today. You talk of god, thats the %^$# who put me in this situation. We are not on speaking terms. You talk of sunrises and sun sets? So what? I have seen them all over this world. I get into my bad moods and I DEAL with it okay? Maybe one day I will decide to step in front of that train. I doubt it. But if I do, the world will continue to spin. Nobody here will even know my name or who I was. I even used an email that can not be traced to me now. So what? Life is pain. Deal with it.

      September 12, 2012 at 8:03 pm | Report abuse |
      • Irina

        You are tragic and funny at the same time. Did you read "Veronica decides to die"? It's a good story in my opinion. If you didn't read it, it will entertain you.

        September 12, 2012 at 9:04 pm | Report abuse |
    • RK

      Why hide the depression. Why not let it out. Tell people how you fell in a positive way without looking for pity.

      Most people(except the good psychiatrists/counselors ) don't understand about mental health until they find themselves beginning to suffer from it. So you wont find the empathy that you are looking for from society in general. Instead you may be judged by these clueless people.

      You just have to take stock of the situation yourself. You just have to believe(or even better feel) that there is hope in the future.

      September 12, 2012 at 8:29 pm | Report abuse |
      • Me

        Why hide it? How about why share it? Its simply not worth it. I know I will die, probably alone and in pain. I have known that for a long time. Whats the difference? Shrinks are a joke, I hate medication, and I have no need to be judged. So there is no reason to share it. At least here, there will be no conseqences.

        September 12, 2012 at 9:12 pm | Report abuse |
        • RK

          Ok,

          I will do my best without trying to sound like an expert. I suffer from anxiety and depression. A good deal of emotional trauma seems to be at the root cause of it. Over a period of time (actually many years), it was untreated because I never complained. This usually results in some amount of chemical imbalance to the brain, which will cause you to feel terrible/loss of energy etc, and even do funny/nasty things such as even harming oneself (though not fatally). I even suspected something was wrong with my brain and went to a neuro and told him I need to take an MRI. MRI came out and everything was fine structurally.

          Then I suspected my food was doing this and changed to pure, organic etc, etc. No real change in the mind, even though my body benifited from clean food.

          So finally I went to a Psychiatrist who put me in touch with a counselor. He was able to empathize with my actual problem and told me that the root cause of my problems my emotions and thoughts were bottled up due to improper upbringing etc etc. The more he empathized and showed me how I felt, the better I began to feel. It took me a while to understand, that chemical imbalances could have their origins in emotions. I am still not out of it, but I feel better.

          This is why you should share with the right person , who is not only a good listener, but some who cares , and hopefully has some knowledge and feel for psychological issues.

          Hope it helps.

          September 13, 2012 at 1:06 pm | Report abuse |
    • Chris

      My fiance never shared his depression with anyone and ended up taking his life. I still feel guilty for not feeling or seeing his pain, for not trying to take some of his pain off of his mind.
      Please share your pain with those around you. Allow them to be there for you. Trust them to help you carry some of your burden. They are not around you only for the fun times but also to give a shoulder to rest on in hard times.

      September 12, 2012 at 8:29 pm | Report abuse |
    • IReallyMissHim

      Me – when I read your first post, it was like I was reading a post from a nephew I lost to suicide. To this day I still can't comprehend it – such a beautiful and successful young man – gone in an instant – I never will. Something was underneath and I completely missed it – did he hide it on purpose – I'll never know. Reading your post, for some reason, resonated with me – simple post but it hit me. I miss his dumb antics, smile and laughter. I can only wish you the best on your journey. You know that there are those of us out there who are willing to listen – I can't say I 'get it' – I honestly don't, but I would've done anything to have him here today. This however is your personal choice to make and I respect that. Thanks for the post. As an aside, of everything I've read, I kinda like the road that Bulfinch is on...

      September 12, 2012 at 9:10 pm | Report abuse |
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