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Victim to victor
The story of Crystal Harris spurred the California legislature into action.
August 27th, 2012
06:30 AM ET

Victim to victor

By Jim Roope, CNN

Editor's Note: This story contains content some may find objectionable for younger listeners.

Los Angeles (CNN) - The California legislature unanimously passed a bill last week that would prohibit victims of spousal abuse from having to pay alimony to their convicted abuser. The bill is a result of one California woman who says she was a victim of spousal abuse and the justice system.

[:48] “Four years ago, my husband attacked me. He raped me and I just…it’s hard to talk about,” said 39-year-old mother of two, Crystal Harris.

Harris is a successful financial planner and her husband, Shawn, was a stay-at-home dad raising their two boys. Harris said in the years after their second son was born, her husband began to get violent. First verbally then physically, and as the years progressed it only got worse.

[1:14] “He had been threatening to kill me for months before that and I believed him,” she said. “And so it was the second attack in less than a week where the violence was so escalated that shifted my whole world where I didn’t really think I was going to survive that attack.”

That second attack happened on March 28, 2008. She caught the second attack on tape.

When Shawn Harris was convicted of forced oral copulation, the judge ordered Crystal to pay her husband, her convicted attacker, spousal support; $1,000 per month and to pay his legal fees.

She reached out to the California legislature for help.

[6:59] “I was shocked to learn Crystal had to pay alimony and legal fees to her abuser," said Democratic Assembly Member Toni Akins. “I think that’s the whole point to what led me to picking up this bill and moving it forward.”

The bill now goes to Governor Jerry Brown for his signature. Atkins says there is every indication he will sign it into law.

What are your thoughts about Crystal’s story? Join the conversation below.

soundoff (1,304 Responses)
  1. amazed

    Ryan, really? I don't know what world you are living in, but it happens all the time. Here is the definition of rape since you seem to be in the dark about it's meaning. If he/she says no and they are forced to have sex – IT IS RAPE!!!
    1. the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
    2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:28 am | Report abuse |
  2. MarriageFORMoney

    WHAT LAWYERS REALLY WANT IS FOR YOU NEVER TO MARRY, NEVER HAVE KIDS, AND DIE OFF. THIS IS CLEAR.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:26 am | Report abuse |
    • jamie

      You're an idiot. Please consider commenting with some substance.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:30 am | Report abuse |
    • Judith

      What is clear is that you were born with anencephaly.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:31 am | Report abuse |
      • jamie

        @ Judeth, Ha! He's probably googling that word right now and will spend the next 10 minutes trying to comprehend.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:36 am | Report abuse |
    • jrh0

      What? How is this an issue in CA? First, for those pondering what he contributed to what she contributed, that is totaly irrelevant. Reason being, right or wrong, the current laws in CA are no fault alimony awards. Regardless of who did what, cheted, was a bad spouse, or whatever else, in CA the person who makes more pays the person makes less an alimony amount based on a calculation fromthe length of the marriage and the amount of difference between the two incomes. Not saying its right, because its NOT IMHO, but that's how CA is.

      Second, how did this happen in CA? THe current laws are ALREADY on the books that abuse cases are the only condition that trumps the above rules. IE: the abused party is automatically awarded alimony according to CA rule. So, how are they signing legistaltion that aclrady exists?

      August 27, 2012 at 11:39 am | Report abuse |
  3. :/

    Ryan,
    Wives don't have to engage in sex every time husbands want to have it. If husband forces wife to have sex- this is rape.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:25 am | Report abuse |
  4. Gecko

    Your ignorance is quite shocking.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:24 am | Report abuse |
  5. Orlando

    The question is- What did this man giveup in his life for his Ex to be where she is now. Did he give up his career to take care of the kids so that she may start hers? And if so he should rate spousal support no matter what. If it was the other way she would still be intitled to support!

    August 27, 2012 at 11:24 am | Report abuse |
    • jamie

      @ Orlando. You don't think the abuse and threat of death changes the black and white aspects of alimony? Think about it

      August 27, 2012 at 11:32 am | Report abuse |
      • Anonymous

        If the roles were reversed she would still get support even if she was an abuser

        August 28, 2012 at 11:22 am | Report abuse |
    • Sheila

      Up to the point of criminally assualting her, physically or sexually. Commiting criminal acts of violance should void the entitlement.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:33 am | Report abuse |
    • Judith

      Not under this new law in California. This law works for both sexes.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:34 am | Report abuse |
      • Anonymous

        That's what you claim. The reality is lawyers will find loopholes and the women will still win. FemNazi Trolls

        August 28, 2012 at 11:26 am | Report abuse |
  6. Mitt

    Paul Ryan I presume

    August 27, 2012 at 11:24 am | Report abuse |
  7. Citizen716

    The judge should have put a clear limit on the amount of time he could collect alimony. Otherwise I'm ok with it. I know it feels shitty but considering he was a stay at home dad and they were married at the time, even though it sucks that puts the family on the hook for his expenses. The tradegy is that he should get just enough to allow him to get a job and start supporting himself. I would have went with 6-months with a 6-month extention if he can prove that he is unable to find work. I dont know the guy so its no skin off my back, but I do worry about legistators dictating what a judge can rule. To me that's a violation of the separation of powers.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:23 am | Report abuse |
  8. Jen

    i was one of those wives raped for 16 years. He was never told no and it didn't matter if I was on my monthly cycle,he would pulled it off me. Times when he would hold me by the throat and rape me. He would hold liquids under my nose for me to breathe. No one knew what it was like in my household. I wish I knew about bringing charges but didn't. Now several years later I am stronger and no one controls me anymore. but the fear is still there as with this woman. No one really knows what goes on between a couple but them.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:23 am | Report abuse |
  9. wowandwow

    wow, everyone here is making me want to throw up. I personally was abused, mentally, emotionally, and physically and to say that it is a wifes duty to sleep with her husband is absolutely rediculous. This case aside, I think it is sick that some of the people on here asume the wife wasn't putting out and that is why he is mad. Have you ever been in a situation like that? Where your own husband, the person who is supposed to love and protect his wife is the one tormenting her and abusing her. It is the WORST feeling any woman ever has to go through. Most woman in abuse cases are as willing, and happy to TRY and please their husbands, but most of the time even the best attempts dont work. Woman, who WANT to leave often seek proof by recording or video taping because if not, then it is his word against hers. Also, when I left, it took almost a year!!!! When someone has such control over you, and your life, taking the next step is the hardest thing ever. If the court had ordered me to PAY the man who abused me, beat me, hit me, threw me out of a moving vehical, spit on me, raped me, .... I would have been more furious than ever. What kind of injustice is it to be a victim and be raped by your own husband, and then seek HELP and get "raped" by the system. wow... just wow...

    August 27, 2012 at 11:23 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      If you have women spitting at you, I'm thinking that the problem may be that you aren't quite the catch you think you are.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:32 am | Report abuse |
    • wowandwow

      marriageformoney- I really hope that no one ever tries to love you. It is clear that you don't know what it means.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:33 am | Report abuse |
    • Palette

      It's not a requirement for you to sleep with him (or her, as the case may be) but don't expect even remotely for that person to be faithful. You get what you give.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:34 am | Report abuse |
    • Walter

      True, a woman is not required to sleep with her husband. Keeping that in mind, if she is not required to sleep with him, she shouldn't expect him to remain solely committed to her.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:34 am | Report abuse |
      • deadlyserious

        Walter, that may be the dumbest comment I've read so far. And you have some stiff competition here...

        August 27, 2012 at 11:37 am | Report abuse |
        • Walter

          Actually, Deadlyserious, it only seems dumb to a retard like you.

          August 27, 2012 at 11:56 am | Report abuse |
    • sodieirish

      You're a real piece of work. And, you're obviously a woman hater. No wonder you got spit on. Loser!!

      August 27, 2012 at 11:53 am | Report abuse |
  10. Tracy

    I still have a restraining order against my ex. He doesn't pay child support, nor does he visit the kids at all, once I got done paying alimony. He refused to work as well, once our second child was born. He said he would stay home and I couldn’t argue with him, cause it wasn’t in my best interest.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:22 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      Tracey – He doesn't visit YOUR kids because you have taken a restraining order out against him... DUH... another "sharp tool in the shed of womenhood"... you sound like a typical nightmare... clearly your ex husband is the victim you irrational nut job... RUN BUDDY RUN...

      August 27, 2012 at 11:31 am | Report abuse |
      • wowandwow

        you clearly are an idiot because you CAN have a restraining order AND see your kids. Happens every day... every hour...

        August 27, 2012 at 11:35 am | Report abuse |
      • kdliz

        A restraining order between exes does not prevent a parent from seeing the children, unless there was suspected abuse of the children, too. Many arrangements are made through third parties or safe meeting places.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:45 am | Report abuse |
  11. JCam

    I was forced to pay for my Ex-Husbands insurance under my college plan, as he was not working and could not afford it. Even though during our short young marriage he was an abusive alcoholic. The "FEMALE" judge was a complete idiot located in Cambridge Probate Court. I was shocked and dismayed and told her how I felt!! Which of course made matters worse for me...........He had to pay $35 dollars a week child support which he only managed to pay for (8) months out of 18 years. Thanks Judge Sheila McGovern you were a real winner!

    August 27, 2012 at 11:21 am | Report abuse |
    • wowandwow

      I had a female judge too. She repremanded me that when I left I didnt allow my ex husband to TAKE my son to his house, (3 hours away). I let him come to ME to visit his son. I told her, "you do NOT know this man, you do NOT know the torment he put ME through, you do NOT know what he threatened me with when I left so DO NOT judge me for trying to keep my son safe!"

      August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am | Report abuse |
  12. Chris R

    You can rape your own wife. It does happen. You have to remember, rape isn't about sex. It is about power and domination.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:20 am | Report abuse |
  13. Beth

    Then what exactly do you call it when a husband forces his, how did you say it, "OWN wife" to have sex in any form with him? A wife can say no to her husband, you know.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:19 am | Report abuse |
  14. Spendlove

    Alimony smalimony!

    August 27, 2012 at 11:18 am | Report abuse |
    • MCC

      Are you kidding me? I have ben married to my husband for over 30 years. I gave up my life, my college, my employment so I could stay home and raise the kids and take care of HIM. Yes I did work. I worked hard for years to put him through school. He graduated and got a successful job. Then the babies started coming and he said, it was MY turn to stay home and take care of them. We didn't have them to have someone else raise them. So I stayed home. Then when they were grown, he plans one trip after another for us to go on so if I went back to school or got a job it would be impossible to go on. Oh PUUHHLLEEEEEEEAAZZEEE you don't see the tantrum and get the guilt trip when I suggest that if I go back to work we couldn't go on these excursions. "But this is a once in a lifetime oppurtunity" So I stay home and I do EVERYTHING. At HIS suggestion I even take care of our grandchildren so our kids can work. There are days when I feel no better than the the nanny, maid, cook, gardener and the whore. Pick a job in this house, I do it all, from unclogging a drain to mowing the grass, cooking, cleaning, laundry, home maintenance, to sitting down every week to pay the bills, you name it and I do it with a smile, he barely lifts a finger around here. God help me if I ask him to take out the trash or fill the ice cube tray.And if he ever decided to leave me, (I will NEVER leave him) YOU think I am NOT entitled to at LEAST HALF???? You sound as if you got burned and burned bad, and for that I'm sorry but there are times when alimony is justified.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:56 am | Report abuse |
  15. KT3

    Were you there when it happened? I didn't think so.

    I find it so interesting how women are always the hardest on other women rape victims. Abuse happens, and this story is not very hard to believe. What's with all of the hateful doubt? Does it hit too close to home so you're picking out minute and illogical details and turning them into inflamed arguments?

    August 27, 2012 at 11:17 am | Report abuse |
  16. BOBBY

    I agree this could be the case...after our first child my wife basically denied me $exs saying things like "its my body" and making me feel abnormal for admitting i needed intimacy....of course having $exs with someone else would never be tolerated....she was incredibly mean....I was trapped...divorce and lose half of my childs life or stay and be phukkin miserable....I stayed but there wasn't a day that went buy I didn't want to beat the crap put of her...I never did but i can understand the power of that feeling and how it took all I had to not lose control.....that does however not make what the guy did right...he should have just left.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:14 am | Report abuse |
  17. Aardie

    If a wife was caught cheating and the husband granted a divorce, should he be off the hook for alimony? He committed a crime and should serve whatever time he is given and she gets her divorce. I'm not sure that he should lose his entitlement to support. I assume she also got the kids given his violent history.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:13 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      Why should he be receiving financial support from his victim?

      August 27, 2012 at 11:16 am | Report abuse |
      • IceMan

        Not likely. The article says she recorded the abuse on tape.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:37 am | Report abuse |
      • Bobby

        because he stayed home and raised their children

        August 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      Good point. IN MOST CASES... the cheating wife is getting free legal by sleepign with her divorce attorney... and the victim husband is forced to pay child support, loses 50-50 custody, and gets hit with alimony by the cheater and her criminal... the lawyer. THE FAMILY COURT SYSTEM IS SOOOOOOOO CORRUPT IT'S AN OFFENSE TO CIVIL SOCIETY. EVEN WORSE, when the court system breaks the man's finances they effectively condemn the children to a life of poverty. So the whole "with the best interest of the kid in mind" is more criminal behavior from lawyers. They need to be managed down. Stop electing them to legislative and executive branches of government – it's clearly a conflict of interest.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:19 am | Report abuse |
    • David

      Actually, Aardie, yes, if one spouse commits adultery, the other should be off the hook for spousal support. And, in fact, in North Carolina, that is exactly what the law is. (Or, by contrast, if the cheating spouse is the primary breadwinner, he is presumptively obligated to provide spousal support to the non-cheater.) It is completely possible to have no-fault divorce with fault still being taken into account in the details.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am | Report abuse |
    • Daremonai

      And that is the important part. If person X commits a crime against Y, and Y has a legal obligation to X, that crime has its own punishment but does not invalidate that legal obligation. Being a victim of something only entitles you to justice against those crimes, not a get out of jail free card that allows you to commit your own.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:33 am | Report abuse |
  18. brownie

    Truth be told – the whole concept of alimony is criminal. Marriage should be treated in many ways like a job: while you're employed, you reap the benefits and enjoy the perks. When you're position is no longer – you don't. In every case, alimony should be like unemployment benefits - very TEMPORARY. In this case, however, she should not have to pay her abuser for any period of time. It's like being sued for injurying someone who tries to rob you... absurdity.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:13 am | Report abuse |
    • Guest123

      Alimony should be done away with period. And since HE abused HER, he should pay her damages.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:28 am | Report abuse |
    • Howie

      Isn't part of the job description satisfying his $exual needs?

      August 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm | Report abuse |
  19. Hogan's Goat

    " I think all the man in here will understand me " Yeah, we get it. Move along. We don't want your kind in here.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:11 am | Report abuse |
  20. hughiewis

    Spousal abuse is the most overused term used by women to gain an upper hand in court.
    'LOOK DADDY, TEACHER SAYS THAT EVERY TIME A JUDGE SIGNS AN ORDER OF PROTECTION, OPRAH GETS A ROYALTY.'

    August 27, 2012 at 11:11 am | Report abuse |
    • Hogan's Goat

      "used by women to gain an upper hand in court" Judge saw right through you, eh?

      August 27, 2012 at 11:13 am | Report abuse |
    • Men Get Abused Too

      That is possibly the most ignorant comment I have ever read. Plenty of MEN get abused by their spouses too. I sincerely hope you never wind up the recipient of it.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:15 am | Report abuse |
    • Tom

      Fathers and husbands are being eaten by the legal system. The terms, are just another way, to brain wash everyone into obligatory support. I'm not saying, some women, don't get abused in a relationship. But the dynamics of relationships are greatly altered when you apply greed and lying for cash into the equation. If someone, figures out, they can make lots of money off their "relationships" if they treat their spouse like trash, they will manipulate the entire situation for profit. I'm sorry, to say, many women have figured this out. The lawyers and judges have found, they can exploit this for profit. So they pay, their biggest customers, with cash from their spouses. It's big business. Everyone should be afraid for their son's future.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:25 am | Report abuse |
  21. max3333444555

    what are you talking about?

    August 27, 2012 at 11:11 am | Report abuse |
  22. Tigerdawg

    People are angry with the judge, but they should be angry with the legislature that made up the community property laws. I am sure the judge had little choice since she was the only income in the family. $1000 per month seems really small, so the judge probably gave the jerk the minimum allowed by law. I wish he would have found a way to make him pay for the legal fees, though.
    As to being a leech and deserving nothing, there are thousands of men paying each month to their exes that slept around on them. Stop with the double standard, and stop with the community property garbage.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:11 am | Report abuse |
    • Daremonai

      *nods* people tend to want judges to do whatever is popular and often forget that judges are supposed to interpret and implement the law, not ignore it whenever it has a good story behind the case. Granted since most judges are elected you see a lot of this behavior anyway... so while we might not like this outcome, we should applaud this judge for actually being honest and doing her job.. even if it is an unpopular outcome.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:35 am | Report abuse |
  23. xm

    You're an idiot.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:10 am | Report abuse |
  24. MadJerry

    "When Shawn Harris was convicted of forced oral copulation, the judge ordered Crystal to pay her husband, her convicted attacker, spousal support; $1,000 per month and to pay his legal fees."

    Wow CNN, just WOW!! Get your procedural facts straight. Criminal and civil matters are separate and usually heard by different judicial departments. There is no way that the divorce and criminal matter were heard by the same judge as part of the SAME proceeding. That is just ludicrous. To even imply that she was made to pay alimony as part of the criminal conviction is just irresponsible.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:08 am | Report abuse |
    • Selendis

      although criminal and civil courts are separate, you can't believe that this woman did not attach the reports of the criminal hearing to her divorce. The judge handling the divorce still saw the criminal complaint.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:17 am | Report abuse |
    • King

      Calm the heck down Jerry....you drew that conclusion. That is not what was implied, especially if you use common sense. Duh.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:19 am | Report abuse |
    • fistfac

      This is correct. This is extremely irresponsible journalism.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:20 am | Report abuse |
    • adsfd

      MadJerry, I don't know about CA, but in NY if a domestic violence case is related to a divorce it gets transferred to the "Integrated Domestic Violence" (IDV) unit and both cases are heard under a criminal judge. Many (I want to say most but that may be a bit much) divorce cases that involve real estate spawn a domestic violence accusation and an Order of Protection because it grants full control of the property to whoever files an Order first for the duration of the case – sometimes it's a race. Marital law is one of the most broken areas of law in the US, and these state legislators who probably know very little about it are manipulating it. With this new law, now everyone who's facing a huge liability for alimony will be calling the cops on their spouse, after beating themselves up a little bit. Lots of women are going to find themselves in Central Booking. What were these people thinking?

      August 27, 2012 at 11:22 am | Report abuse |
    • US guy

      MadJerry,
      Don't you see the pattern here? This was all staged by this woman. As they are taught by the feminist groups. – "Honey, you need to get a criminal record on your hubby. THen the case is yours. Don't be stupid, and do it NOW. Set up the camera and make him mad. Then file for a divorce". This is very common game in courts. Nothing new here

      August 27, 2012 at 11:23 am | Report abuse |
      • Steve

        Happened to me, just as you wrote. Scary stuff out there.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:44 am | Report abuse |
      • Joy

        How does one make a man mad enough to justify him beating a woman. There can be no justification for beating a spouse – so there should not be a problem for a husband getting into trouble because he is angry. If she makes you mad, walk out and cool down, don't beat her. Would you want Mike Tyson beating you everytime he got mad?

        August 27, 2012 at 1:05 pm | Report abuse |
        • Anonymous

          Women verbally and emotionally abuse their spouses all the time. Most men are afraid of the ridicule they'd receive for reporting it. No one will believe them anyway because our Legal system is designed by the FemNazi Lawyers to make sure that the women win at all costs.

          August 28, 2012 at 11:44 am | Report abuse |
    • Ripple Red

      Agreed. This has got to be a mistake. A judge deciding the sentence in a criminal case for the husband would have no jurisdiction to compel the wife to pay alimony or attorney's fees.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:26 am | Report abuse |
  25. Roscoe Chait

    You must be a Republican drone like Kay Hutchison.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:05 am | Report abuse |
  26. JHLeder

    You are an idiot.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:05 am | Report abuse |
  27. deadlyserious

    Please never speak for "all men" again, you neanderthal.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:05 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      Actually, I'd prefer to be identified as someone with the ability to spell. Moron.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:29 am | Report abuse |
    • Diablo135

      So Deadly, you would rape your own wife?

      August 27, 2012 at 11:37 am | Report abuse |
      • deadlyserious

        I think you missed the point of the post I was responding to. I'll give you a while to figure it out while the adults have a conversation over in the dining room.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:47 am | Report abuse |
  28. sqeptiq

    Are you a Hell's Angel mama?

    August 27, 2012 at 11:04 am | Report abuse |
  29. Bob

    I see nothing absurd about her paying alimony. As a stay at home husband he gave up an opportunity to learn the skills necessary to succeed in life to stay at home and raise their kids. The rest of his character doesn't matter, what matters is he's screwed in life because he chose to rely on her income and raise their kids.

    It's no different than when a man divorces a psychotic stay at home wife that he can no longer live with. Where's the law that saves men from paying tons of cash to their insane ex wives?

    In the end what matters is that one person chose to give up the opportunity to get a career, and maybe even a college education, which puts them at a HUGE disadvantage in life. It doesn't matter why a person gets divorced. Without a pre-nup infidelity means nothing (in most states I believe) and your wife could cheat on you with every man she's ever met and still get the kids and half your paycheck when she leaves you for some random guy.

    Double standards are awesome.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:03 am | Report abuse |
    • jboh

      Are you crazy? Stay at home spouses are going to college everyday. An abuser should not get support. That is a second victimization of the VICTIM.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:13 am | Report abuse |
    • S

      As far as I am concerned, this creep lost ALL rights to spousal support when he attacked his wife! He deserves jail time and then having to earn his own way after that!

      August 27, 2012 at 11:21 am | Report abuse |
  30. Me

    Most couples have rough sex as part of their marriage? I better hand back my engagement ring then.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:02 am | Report abuse |
  31. Jane Smith

    Really? Don't assume most people like it rough. I say good for her to have the brains, and unfortunately the experience, to know what was coming and protect herself with evidence.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:02 am | Report abuse |
  32. tc4012

    I remember this story – it was clearly baloney. Utter bs. She was clearly talking to the tape recorder....

    August 27, 2012 at 11:02 am | Report abuse |
    • Mike

      From my professional experience, majority of women are gold diggers and falsely claim abuse. I hope this proposed law fails.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:46 am | Report abuse |
  33. Moxin

    And you are, without a doubt, an idiot in every sense of the word.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:00 am | Report abuse |
  34. Troy Wood

    No way she should pay spousal support; is California a state with no-fault divorce? Because the husband in this case is at fault and as such should never be eligible for alimony. In addition, now that he's divorced he needs to go out and get a job. I have a feeling this guy's been an a$$ all his life.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:59 am | Report abuse |
    • sqeptiq

      He should be in prison. That would obviate any need for her support.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:03 am | Report abuse |
    • MadJerry

      California is a no fault divorce state. Also, this result is typical where one spouse works and the other does not. And, it was made that way specifically so the non-working spouse does not get steam rolled in a divorce proceeding due to lack of financial resources.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:10 am | Report abuse |
  35. US guy

    You got it right. Men are abused by the Congress and all laws. They aer "guilty untill proven innocent"
    Unconstitutional VAWA, supported by Congress, makes all men abusers and women victims no matter what. Then men put in jails based on women lies. This ugly women is lying for sure – only totally dumb people don't see it. Godd the Judge was smart and could see through her lies. I would put her in jail for defamation. To set the camera and make husband mad – I can do that in 3 minutes.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:58 am | Report abuse |
  36. deadlyserious

    And if she hadn't gotten video evidence, you'd just claim she was lying.

    It sounds like the best part of being a rape victim is when people treat you like a criminal.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:58 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      Remind me where it says that in the wedding vows...

      August 27, 2012 at 11:17 am | Report abuse |
    • Chris R

      wow. so what you are saying is that if a woman is married she has an obligation to have sex with her husband regardless of the circumstances and if she doesn't put out often enough the man has every right to rape her, i hope to god that you aren't married. you'd make an awful spouse.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:23 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      deadly serious – it's called a "social contract"... marriage... with implied obliations and behaviors... duh...

      August 27, 2012 at 11:23 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      chris R – exactly. if you get marrried having sex every day... better keep it up until death do you part...

      August 27, 2012 at 11:25 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      Social contracts don't extend to rape, idiot.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:28 am | Report abuse |
  37. woody

    The mental anguish and torment some women put their spouse through that spurs the husband into getting a divorce is a form of abuse too. Many men don't react violently, they just get out and move on. Is that mental and emotional abuse reciprocated in this law when it's the man being forced to pay alimony to an ex-wife that was emotionally and mentally abusive towards him?

    August 27, 2012 at 10:58 am | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      Hi Woody,
      The law goes into effect only if the spouse, male or female, is convicted of felony abuse.
      jim

      August 27, 2012 at 11:01 am | Report abuse |
  38. max3333444555

    he broke the law butt hats not a reason to change a law that will certainly be abused by divorce attorneys

    August 27, 2012 at 10:55 am | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      Hi Max,
      It won't be a tool for lawyers because it only is in play when the spouse is convicted of felony abuse.
      jim

      August 27, 2012 at 11:03 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      He broke the law? A married man having sex with his wife is now BREAKING THE LAW? huh? You sound like another FOS lawyer... looking to create MORE litigation so you can put your ugly kids through private school. CRETIN.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:14 am | Report abuse |
      • Chris R

        rape is against the law. period. do you honestly think a husband can't rape his wife? hey, the 13th century called, they miss you.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:25 am | Report abuse |
  39. tc4012

    Please – the court system is already HORRIBLY tilted towards women in matter of divorce and custody. This is just a way for them to tilt them further. Clearly what is good for the goose, is not good for the gander.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:55 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      Yeah, rape victims have such an easy time in the courts. Especially the ones who were "legitimately" raped.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:56 am | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      Please remember, this law is not a result of divorce. Nor is it somethng that will be used in all divorce cases. It is a law that protects an abused spouse, male of female, from their convicted attacker. There has to be a criminal trial on the alleged attack. This is not part of a divorce case, it is a criminal case. The law will only protect a spouse from paying alimony if their alleged abusive spouse is convicted of felony abuse.
      jim

      August 27, 2012 at 11:10 am | Report abuse |
    • Joy

      This has nothing to do with being a woman. There are men out there who walk into their homes only to be attacked by a raving lunatic. She is hurling bottles at him and charging into him with knives while screaming abuse at him. She knows he will not hit her – he does not hit women, and she knows he will not leave because he will loose half of his income and his children so she continues to do it. He is in the emergency room with knife cuts and bottle shards all the time. This way he can conceal a camera and tape her actions – then he can get out of it with his income and children intact, and send her to jail.

      August 27, 2012 at 1:53 pm | Report abuse |
      • Anonymous

        If you were that raving lunatic you would find a way to say that it was self defense, then the courts would side with you by default simply because you're female.

        August 28, 2012 at 11:52 am | Report abuse |
  40. northernstar

    He was convicted of a crime against his wife and the evidence was caught on video tape. Yet some on this post think what he did is defensible because if was his wife. You people should go for therapy right away before you hurt somebody !!

    August 27, 2012 at 10:55 am | Report abuse |
  41. jimroopecnn

    Hello Everyone.
    Thank you all for your comments. I urge you all to listen to the story by clicking the play button below Crystal Harris' picture. The complete story is told and many questions raised in this comment section will be answered and many concerns addressed.
    Jim

    August 27, 2012 at 10:53 am | Report abuse |
  42. Fiona

    This woman, who accuses her ex-husband of abusing her and theatening to kill her, did not bother to get the children away from that allegedly dangerous man. She did not seek shelter and safety herself, but used her own body in an amateur sting operation. I'd say she and her husband had a sick relationship to begin with, and that she was so obsessed (is more blessed) with "winning" in the battle with him that she didn't take the safety of the children into account. She was the one who held the power in the relationship (working full time, earning all the income). She could have taken the boys and left. Instead, she chose to continue to leave the children in the care of a man she considered violent and dangerous. I assume she is the one who ended up with full custody. Too bad.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:53 am | Report abuse |
    • Fiona

      ...is more obsessed... (danged autocorrect)

      August 27, 2012 at 10:54 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      This may come as a shock, but abused women often don't feel free to "walk away" any time.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:55 am | Report abuse |
    • Erin

      When a victim of DV leaves, they're actually in more danger, and that is when most domestic violence-related homicides occur. Most victims will go back about seven times before they leave, and their reasons for doing such are numerous – they don't have the financial independence to be on their own, they've been isolated to the point where they don't have a network of people to help them get out, they fear for their safety, their abuser may have made threats against their own children to keep a victim around...Not that that's what was going on here, but you should at least understand that for a victim of DV, getting out isn't as simple as packing a bag and deciding it's time to go.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:14 am | Report abuse |
  43. anotarba

    i sort of agree but not in all instances... I too see alot of women taking advantage of the system, but I don't think it's all women that would be awful... the instances that I've seen that i don't agree with is when I see a women going through a divorce and her friends throw the line " you should go after him and take his money" That is not a healthy solution for the woman and the children if there are any. If the girl is getting abused or worse then there should be compensation... I'm talking about when 2 people fall out of love... They should split the assets 2 ways and the alimony should only be paid to the parent if full custody... I do believe that parents should split the cost... perhaps we wouldn't see as many divorces if the courts would make it harder on the people to get divorces... I've seen too many marriages end in the first year and I think it's because of people forgetting to be responsible. Now my points are not the same if either of the spouses are getting abused... The weird part is how many women now days verbally abuse their husbands and intimidate them with "I will take everything from you" attitude... I'm just blessed that I've been married for 7 years and have never had problems like these....

    August 27, 2012 at 10:52 am | Report abuse |
  44. Dude?

    Cool, didn;t know cave-people had internet access.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:51 am | Report abuse |
  45. Ticklemeelmo

    Works for me: Trial judge got it right – as they usually do – and now guys have yet another way to get out of alimony.
    But isn't this law a little on the ex post facto?

    August 27, 2012 at 10:50 am | Report abuse |
    • US guy

      The women can walk away from alimony you mean? Scamers and liers like her always do. And women used to lie in the courts under oath so often that there should be additional penalty for them. Women get away with lies in courts today.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:06 am | Report abuse |
    • Rich

      Ex post facto only has application in criminal cases. Alimony is a civil law matter.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:17 am | Report abuse |
  46. bozobub

    She has him on video. Apologist fail.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:49 am | Report abuse |
  47. Martini

    Freedom Fascist, did you even read this story? He is a stay at home dad. She is the money maker in that home. I understand that there are "serpent" women out there, believe me I have known my fair share including my dear husband's ex, who try to "work the system" in their best interest; however this seems to be a real case with actual eveidence of abuse! This woman should be protected, and I would feel the same if she was a man!

    August 27, 2012 at 10:48 am | Report abuse |
  48. bencoates57

    Man should have never been convicted of forced oral copulation. She's his wife. She hasn't been putting out probably because she lost respect that he could not find work for which he was trained in this economy. He succuumbed to stress of having been chronically unemployed and raising two kids. This man is a victim.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:45 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      Do women everywhere a favor, and castrate yourself.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:47 am | Report abuse |
      • witzig

        I hope your privates fall off, pronto

        August 27, 2012 at 10:57 am | Report abuse |
      • NavySup

        @MarriageFORMoney & others like him
        What century are you living in. When you marry someone, you do not become a slave. You have a right to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of who is the breadwinner. Did you not read the part about her fearing for her life and denying child support for CONVICTED abusers. I should know better about reading the comment section. It brings out the idiots.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:06 am | Report abuse |
      • Jane Smith

        marriageformoney try a little reading comprehension. SHE made the money, HE was at home with the kids.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:07 am | Report abuse |
      • Nicole

        Raping your wife is possible. If she says no, then it is fucking rape you idiot. And did you even read the story? She was the one paying the bills. Get a clue.https://cnnradio.cnn.com/2012/08/27/victim-to-victor/?hpt=hp_c3#respond

        August 27, 2012 at 11:21 am | Report abuse |
      • Steve

        Date much? Didn't think so.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:39 am | Report abuse |
      • Anonymous

        FemNazi Bitch

        August 28, 2012 at 11:55 am | Report abuse |
    • thecap11

      bencoates you are an idiot

      August 27, 2012 at 10:52 am | Report abuse |
    • Carolyn

      Maybe he felt like a victim, but that's no excuse for being violent with his wife. Did you ever hear of the Fleshlight? If not, suggest you look it up.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:54 am | Report abuse |
    • dtcpr

      You are a pig. He is not a victim, she is the victim. Getting married to someone DOES NOT give them the right to force themselves on you. It's people like you who are bringing women back to the 1800s. You disgust me.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:57 am | Report abuse |
    • Di

      You are a jerk!!!

      August 27, 2012 at 10:57 am | Report abuse |
    • sqeptiq

      You are a sick puppy.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:06 am | Report abuse |
    • @bencoates57

      You cannot be serious? You sound like just a much of a pig as this man. So because this man may have been depressed or whatever from not having work...this gives him the right to force himself on his wife? Your logic is pathetic. You are back in the age where woman had no say at all..if a woman says no, and it means NO. Clearly you cannot be a father of a young woman, at least I should hope not. For any father, who would say this is acceptable, and has fathered a daughter, is just as sick as the accused. God help the man who would ever force himself on my child; husband or not.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:09 am | Report abuse |
    • chronickelly

      Being someone's wife does not give the husband any right to force sex acts. That's rape. Plain and simple. You are sexist, on so many levels.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:18 am | Report abuse |
    • Medman

      Obviously you didn't take in consideration that maybe the husband decided to be a stay-at-home dad because the wife's income was bigger than his. There have been numerous cases around the country where the husband has been accused of raping his wife. Some men have it in there second brain that because they are married they can get it anytime they want to.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:18 am | Report abuse |
    • getagrip

      I hate to break it to you but men do not have the legal right to FORCE their wives to perform anything.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am | Report abuse |
    • Chris R

      what, exactly, is your damage. no one has a right to force themselves on someone else. not their girlfriend, not their wife, not anyone. period. it doesn't matter how long she might have been holding out. no one has a right to rape anyone. i can't believe you are saying that rape can ever be justified,

      August 27, 2012 at 11:30 am | Report abuse |
  49. jak jak

    I think it is a married partners duty to have relations with their spouse, therefore I don't think rape is possible in this case.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:44 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      And thankfully, most of us have moved on from that antiquated way of thinking.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:46 am | Report abuse |
    • bozobub

      You think incorrectly. No means no, period.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:47 am | Report abuse |
    • rhdstr

      Are you muslim or taliban possibly?

      August 27, 2012 at 11:13 am | Report abuse |
  50. Steven Smith

    Did you not read the story? This man was screwed over by the lady, he was a stay at home Dad who was sexually and verbally abusive to her. Grow up.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:44 am | Report abuse |
  51. we

    Something occurred to me just now. I have a girlfriend who actually requested to be spanked tied up etc has bought a whole collection of nipple clamps and riding crops and other goodies... I'm not really into it but I like to make her happy.... What gave me a cold chill was what if she or other women for whatever reason decided to video tape such things and claim abuse in order to get money or child custody etc. It is actually possible that I could be charged with sexual assault if someone where to see what goes on and not understand the context...yikes

    August 27, 2012 at 10:42 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      I doubt it. Consensual BDSM usually looks different from abuse.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:44 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      Correct. All it takes are a set of colluding criminals called lawyers and judges to pretty much indict and convict you on ANYTHING their little corrupt hearts conjure up. Forget about "the situation"... you're at risk in general for prison with these types... BETTER BEHAVE. BETTER VOTE LAWYER... or else.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:45 am | Report abuse |
    • asdf

      I'd get a safeword and some limitations down in writing, and have both of you sign it. Seriously – think about it.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:57 am | Report abuse |
  52. Mozue

    I find it so interesting that a man convicted of a crime can lose his right to vote, but cannot lose the rights to his children? I feel once you commit a crime, you lose all rights – period (except the right to get your a** kicked in prison every day if you are a pedophile).

    August 27, 2012 at 10:40 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      TRUST ME. INNOCENT AND LAW-ABIDING MEN LOSE THEIR RIGHTS AND MONEY EVERYDAY IN OUR CORRUPT COURTS... It's not about "losing your rights"... It's about a criminakl conspiracy occuring AS WE SPEAK in our corrupt judicial system in America. A "system" protected because lawyers have permeated all three brnaches of government... IN DIRECT CONFLICT OF INTEREST. Now, your rights are for sale. Forget if you're guilty... if you're alive you're fair game.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:47 am | Report abuse |
    • Marta Paglianni

      What does Pedophilia has to do with this case??

      August 27, 2012 at 10:54 am | Report abuse |
  53. Khrys

    Have you actually read the article? In this case the wife is actually a working mother and the husband a stay-at-home dad.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:38 am | Report abuse |
  54. ok

    if you read the article you would see that he was a stay at home dad, pay attention next time.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:37 am | Report abuse |
  55. Keith

    FF...she has video of the abuse. Is that not good enough for you? Are you an abuser, too? READ!!!!

    August 27, 2012 at 10:37 am | Report abuse |
  56. Hate morons

    Spoken like a true idiot. Sounds to me that you want women to be more property than equals.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
  57. deadlyserious

    I'm not a fan of the alimony system in general, and this is just one more reason it needs to be scrapped in its entirety.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      Actually, I'm just opposed to it, because it's built around the idea that people can't just get a job instead of leeching off their prior partner.

      But you might want to get some therapy.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:45 am | Report abuse |
    • asdf

      If you marry a woman for 30 years, and she's a homemaker the whole time, how do you expect that woman to simply jump back into the job market with a resume that says nothing but "mom" on it? There has to be some protection there.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:58 am | Report abuse |
    • Joy

      You must be one of the men in the world who think that one of your rights with marriage is the right to beat your wife. That is why you have a problem with anything that protects women from being beaten by their spouses.

      August 27, 2012 at 3:04 pm | Report abuse |
  58. Fritz

    It is astonishing how out of touch, and with severe lack of common sense or fairness, divorce/family court judges are. If marrital prenupts were to inform themselves just how wacky these judges are, and at least a 55% chance you will divorce and meet one of these judges with one of you facing an unfair judgement, causing one to cancel, it should be enough to render the institution of marriage a museum concept.
    Per this story, only attractive women victims get the attention of the legislature. The rest of us serf goobers are at the whim of these life wrecking family court judges.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am | Report abuse |
    • asdf

      You call her "attractive"? woof.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:59 am | Report abuse |
  59. deadlyserious

    Oh, how I long for the days when I would be able to beat and rape my wife without her being able to go to the police. Yes, we really knew how to abuse women right back in the day.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am | Report abuse |
  60. liz

    So California is "forward" thinking enough to pass a law that would prevent a spouse from having to pay alimony to his/her abuser yet there are 31 states in this country that do not prevent a rapist from having parental rights over a child from rape.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:32 am | Report abuse |
    • bencoates57

      You've been reading too much CNN lately. You need to find some serious investigative journalism outlet.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am | Report abuse |
    • Seriously Concerned

      Liz, I agree! There is something seriously wrong with that law! But in 31 states,,,,,,,,,we're working with a whole slew of judicial dummies!

      August 27, 2012 at 10:49 am | Report abuse |
    • US guy

      Don't put it "HIS/HER abuser". This is a vail of the law to push the "equal rights" thing. In the court system, men are always abusers and women are always victims. Women alowed to lie under oath in courts and get away with it (Casey Anthony). They can claim abuse and their words will be taken as "evidence".

      August 27, 2012 at 10:53 am | Report abuse |
  61. palintwit

    If I was Sarah Palin I'd drive around the neighborhood until I ran across someone operating a wood chipper. Then I would dive in head first. Voila!! No more Sarah Palin !!

    August 27, 2012 at 10:30 am | Report abuse |
    • bencoates57

      And yet she's done more with her life than you ever will. Imagine that.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:34 am | Report abuse |
    • jlv

      What the heck did Sarah Palin do to you? The hate you spew is nonsensical. I mean did she steal your man, burn down your farm, or have you carted away to jail for stalking her? The woman ran for vp and failed, she got her 15 minutes. It's over, you sound like the hateful lunatics who attack obama. For gods sake crawl back under your bridge you troll, until the world needs another _twit and then you can rise again to lead the call for more heads.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:09 am | Report abuse |
      • Anonymous

        Granted Mitt Romney is a bozo, but Barrack Obama is the Reincarnation of Josef Stalin !

        August 28, 2012 at 12:04 pm | Report abuse |
  62. John Purvis

    What a crock now every dead beat spouse will claim abuse to get out of paying spousal support. Her husband stayed home and raised their children, and now he will not be compensated for that sacrifice. Women will cry foul when men try this tactic on them. Crystal 's husband was never charged with ANY crime. It is convenient that she claims rape when she has to pay spousal support., Another B.S. ruling by a Judge.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:25 am | Report abuse |
    • sierranaturallawns

      Maybe you missed the part where it says he was convicted?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:30 am | Report abuse |
    • Honest Bob

      If you had any reading comprehension skills you would have seen this "When Shawn Harris was convicted of forced oral copulation". Not only was her husband charged, he was found guilty.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:30 am | Report abuse |
    • deadlyserious

      He was convicted, genius. Read the article.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:31 am | Report abuse |
    • GetTheFacts

      I think you missed this part of the story: "When Shawn Harris was convicted of forced oral copulation" He WAS convicted.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:32 am | Report abuse |
      • bencoates57

        Forced? He's her husband. I see what happened here. He couldn't find work. She lost respect and started holding out on him. Casualty of Obama's America.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
        • deadlyserious

          I forgot. No means no, except when it's her husband. Because there's no possible way that a woman could ever not want to have sex with her husband except out of spite.

          You're seriously twisted.

          August 27, 2012 at 10:42 am | Report abuse |
        • bozobub

          Forced. Sorry, but as John Wayne Bobbit found out, to his dismay, "NO" MEANS "NO".

          August 27, 2012 at 10:51 am | Report abuse |
        • Paul

          Pray do tell... what does this possibly have to do with Obama or with either political party?

          August 27, 2012 at 11:26 am | Report abuse |
    • HAF1

      What's worse is, in California, the main difference between "forced spousal copulation" and rape is that with compulation, NO PHYSICAL EVIDENCE need be used to obtain a conviction. Now every pig, judge, prosecutor and other attorneys are all career felony child abusers. False statements of the kind reported in this piece of pulp trash are an epidemic and are being used by all judges everyone in this country to assign children to abusive mothers. Democracy is finished in this country.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am | Report abuse |
    • taylorvon

      i guess you missed reading the part where it was caught on tape.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am | Report abuse |
    • ummmm

      "When Shawn Harris was convicted of forced oral copulation"

      It's called reading comprehension in grade school before writing your report. Do you understand what that sentence means? Maybe that's the problem the words are too big for you.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:33 am | Report abuse |
    • Read It

      It says he was Convicted of Forced Oral Copulation.....

      August 27, 2012 at 10:34 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      MEN – ALERT – Women getg married for money, not love. When you lose your employment they will cut off intimate relations, abuse you verbally and emotionally, and when you respond out of pure frustration... after tryin and trying to make love happen... they'll call you an abuser.

      The FMAILY COURT SYSTEM LOVES THIS... they make money off these situations. And in a RARE instandce when a man actually gets "taken care of" the lawyers who comprise the judicial, legislative, and executive branches of government (i.e., the tyranny hostage takers eliminating the intended CHECKS AND BALANCES of gov.) will legislate against men. Men mostly earn... this in turn, puts MORE dollars into the pcokets of family court lawyers.

      It's the TRUE terrorism in the U.S.... Family courts... Want to see a terrorist? Your family court lawyers and judges. IRREFUTABLE.

      This legislation is SEXUALLY-BIASED. Shameful. Criminal conspriacy... a felony. Indict the "legislators" who act like they give a damn about anything... but money. They're the MAFIA in America. WAKE UP.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
      • bencoates57

        You drew the same conclusion I did. She was working. He couldn't find work for which he was trained. She lost respect and interest in him sexually. He eventually succuumbed to stress of being unemployed and raising two kids. This man is a victim too. How barbaric are we as a society to shun this man.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:39 am | Report abuse |
      • Anna

        Clearly a troll.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:48 am | Report abuse |
    • Juli

      He WAS convicted of a crime. His crime was on tape, "Shawn Harris was convicted of forced oral copulation" This is a form of RAPE.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
    • Always_Amused

      John, You couldn't be more wrong! You must not have read the article! The Article CLEARLY STATES that the husband was CONVICTED of "forced oral copulation" AND she caught the whole attack on tape! Go back and read the article, dude!

      August 27, 2012 at 10:37 am | Report abuse |
    • darin

      I think you need to read the article again and realize the judge found the husband guilty of forced oral sex however found that the wife had to pay alimony. Its the legislator who is has proposed changing the law, not the judge. Don't be so knee-jerk.

      "When Shawn Harris was convicted of forced oral copulation, the judge ordered Crystal to pay her husband, her convicted attacker, spousal support; $1,000 per month and to pay his legal fees."

      August 27, 2012 at 10:39 am | Report abuse |
    • Stephen

      He was charged and convicted. That's the whole point of the bill. It prevents people who have been charged and convicted with spousal abuse from being awarded spousal support. Did you read the article or just cruise on down to the comments and guess what it was about?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:41 am | Report abuse |
    • Robert

      Dude, did you even read the article?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:43 am | Report abuse |
  63. thesaj

    Unemployment is NOT an excuse for abuse.

    A similar thing nearly happened with my mom, but no where near as disgusting or abusive. But basically, my mom was working 20 hours a day, 6 days a week and part time on Sunday.

    My father was drinking it away, stealing money, in what was his third bout with addiction in approx. 20 years.

    My mom finally divorced, before she lost everything. And the judge tried three times to have my mom pay alimony.

    Seriously, this judge should be removed. Well actually, I think this judge should have a lot more done to him.

    ***

    What's always so messed up, is when spousal support is offered to the men. It's seems it's only granted in cases of abuse.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:24 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      I agree. Clearly the employed woman mocked her unemployed husband, cut him off, and cried "victim" after inciting him. LOCK HER UP. She's the abuser. Everyone knows this.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:37 am | Report abuse |
  64. Andrew

    I don't believe a word she says. She looks and sounds conniving, and clearly does not care about her kids. She's playing the victim card, and shouldn't be trusted.

    This law will be just as abused as the thousands of woman who claim their kids are abused just to get the Dad out of their lives. 49% of all contested divorces the Mom claims the Dad abused the kids. Only 2% are substantiated.

    If Woman want equal rights, they need to STOP playing the victim card. While men may be physically abuses, some women can be very emotionally abusive.

    There was a case recently where the Mom accused the Dad of downloading inappropriate porn on the family computer. He was removed from the house and not allowed to see his kids. Guess what...it was proved in court that Mom did it... He got his kids back...

    August 27, 2012 at 10:21 am | Report abuse |
    • douglas friedmutter

      read the article. she has the attack on video. that unravels your entire argument. any other thoughts?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:26 am | Report abuse |
      • bencoates57

        Video was deemed a hoax.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:28 am | Report abuse |
        • Chris R

          who told you it was a hoax? oh wait, that's right, no one did. you are just grasping at straws to justify your own pathetic bitterness caused by the self inflicted train wreck of your life.,

          August 27, 2012 at 11:35 am | Report abuse |
    • Joyce

      Wow. Angry? So you think anyone should pay spousal support to someone who physically abused them? Yes, emotional abuse can be painful, but not so much as physical abuse. If abuse of any kind can be proven then the abuser shouldn't get 'spousal support'.....which made sense many years ago when women never worked and couldn't support themselves, but it doesn't make any sense these days....for men or women.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:30 am | Report abuse |
    • monocle88

      Do you think that only 2% of male parents have ever abused their children our spouses, verbally or physically?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:30 am | Report abuse |
    • Duff

      What is wrong with you? Andrew obviously you have never walked in this women's shoes. You sound like a nut and maybe you are a bit like her husband. I pray for your family and hope to God you are not married or have children.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:31 am | Report abuse |
    • JohnnybGood

      Holy Moly Andrew! Read the article before spewing that nonsense, that's just a poor assessment

      August 27, 2012 at 10:34 am | Report abuse |
    • bee

      Andrew,

      Some of these responses by these pathethic men are possibly the reason by Aiken is as stupid as he is. Clarity though is near come Nov 7 2012.Go Obama/Biden, who has the women's vote 4 sure.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:36 am | Report abuse |
    • Always_Amused

      Andrew, It really doesn't matter whether you believe her or not! She caught the whole attack on tape and the court certainly believes her! ...

      August 27, 2012 at 10:43 am | Report abuse |
  65. Seriously Concerned

    I too was surprised when I read this article but not shocked! As ApplytheLaw states, the judge can only rule on what laws are set at that time. What Ms. Harris did, with this bill, was to protect all people (not just wives) from having to pay when their spouse is abusing them. Granted, it won't work in all instances if there are no records of abuse prior to a divorce. However it will help men & women alike in the future(in the State of California). What shocks me is the response from some of the men commenting on this article! Would you be feeling this same way if it was, say your daughter, that went thru this abuse with her spouse? And no, it won't work if you don't have the evidence but remember, this woman was sexually abused and got it on tape! How much more evidence do you need? If it was just he-said she-said and no tape to prove it, how do you think the judge would have voted then? Not the same, I can guarantee that! It's this kind of attitude with people judging other people so quickly that scares me. I wished everyone would put yourselves in this woman's shoes first before judging then see if you'd be so quick to harshly judge!

    August 27, 2012 at 10:20 am | Report abuse |
  66. bencoates57

    We can cry unfairness all we want. And we all know how the world is unfair in a million ways - to this husband quite possibly as well. Reality is far more complex than we know. We know nothing from this story about this family. But it plays to our principles and gives us a chance to do the venting we so need to do.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:19 am | Report abuse |
  67. Brad

    Gender bias, people. Apples and oranges.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:16 am | Report abuse |
  68. steve Palozzi

    Anyone who has sat in court and watched a judge rule based on supposed law knows Judges do what they want! This judge could easly avoid such a ridiculous ruling yet he/she did not. Our judges are very much to blame and will continue to make decision based on their own personal wishes as long as there are no consequences to their decisions.

    Laws that pertain to child support, child custody, or payment to spouses are applied based in one fact. Judges feel if money is somehow transfered from one source to the other they have done their job. It is never a decision of what is right or wrong. Rather a decision on who's got the money and how do I take it from that person.

    I sat in court listening to the judge tell everyone how we are hear for the children, then proceed to destroy my children's future with her decisions. My child will be lucky to pass highschool and it is all based on the Judges very bias decision on who I was and what I represented. I apparently deserved her foolish decision to take my son out of a school equipped to handle ADHD issues. Yet I'm not suffering, my 15 year old son is.

    The exact people these laws are meant to protect are the ones that benefit least. I'm talking about kids. Remember, who has the money and how do I change that. If you can remember that you to can be a judge.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:13 am | Report abuse |
    • MarriageFORMoney

      Steve – Thanks for your sanity. FAMILY COURT is a terroristic organization that actually causes TERRIBLE harm to children of divorce. THE ENTIRE FAMILY COURT SYSTEM needs to be scrapped and re-invented. I agree. Thanks.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:07 am | Report abuse |
  69. Zebula

    So, the violent abusive dad has custody of the kids and mom isn't concerned about them, won't contribute to thier care?

    August 27, 2012 at 10:12 am | Report abuse |
    • kkd

      She was ordered to pay alimony, not child support.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:13 am | Report abuse |
    • Garcia

      What makes you say that? It says alimony, not child support... I'll bet $1,000 she has has full custody of the kids.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:15 am | Report abuse |
    • Steve

      Zebula: alimony is payment made to the former spouse for his/her own living expenses, not for child support. That's completely different.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:15 am | Report abuse |
    • Mary

      There is a difference between alimony and child support

      August 27, 2012 at 10:17 am | Report abuse |
    • Chris

      you dont know the difference between alimony and child support, do you?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:20 am | Report abuse |
    • Scott

      She was ordered to pay spousal support, NOT child support. It's quite likely given the violent nature he has that he was not given custody of the children, and she would therefore *only* be paying spousal support. What a crap situation, glad to see that it's being remedied.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:20 am | Report abuse |
    • kat28

      It stated spousal support not child support. She has custody of the kids I'm sure.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:23 am | Report abuse |
    • TexAnne

      alimony is spousal support, she got the kids according to news media in CA.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:29 am | Report abuse |
    • kdw31

      No where in the article did it say the husband has custody. She is having to pay alimony, that is not the same as child support. Alimony is almost never given these days, but if it is it is in addition to child support. Alimony is given when one spouse has been supporting the other for a long period of time. So if he does have custody she would be paying $1K as well as what the court deems is appropriate child support. Based on the fact that child support isn't mentioned I would guess he does not have primary custody.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:30 am | Report abuse |
  70. Jeff

    Good, this has the one item that is missing from CNN's other favorite piece the past few days (parental rights for rape victims): that this applies to CONVICTED persons. I am all for these laws when they apply to CONVICTED, not ACCUSED, people.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:07 am | Report abuse |
    • bencoates57

      California run amok. The state also invested so heavily in Facebook that it's economy has taken a hit. It was also the only state to bail out (pay down principal) for people in foreclosure.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:11 am | Report abuse |
  71. bencoates57

    Sounds to me like the husband staying at home may not have been entirely voluntary but he couldn't find work for which he was trained. This family is another casualty of the unemployment problem this country has suffered in one sense since 2002 and in a broader sense since 1990 (with exceptionof that bogus dot com balloon that eventually burst).

    August 27, 2012 at 10:06 am | Report abuse |
    • Richard J.

      Just where in the story does it say it was not voluntary? Does not say anything about him being out of work etc.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:09 am | Report abuse |
      • bencoates57

        You think he'd volunteer to stay home through TWO sons if he could also work and afford daycare. What world are YOU living in? We see this all the time.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:13 am | Report abuse |
    • kkd

      No, the family is the victim of an abusive ***hole. Unemployment is no escuse for abusing your wife.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:12 am | Report abuse |
      • bencoates57

        No excuse. But still a contributing factor. The more we ignore the problem, the deeper this country will fall into misery.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:17 am | Report abuse |
        • Brenda

          My father beat the crap out of my mother because she wouldn't give him her waitressing money (one of her 2 or 3 jobs) for prostitutes after he sat home and pounded beer all day. Not giving up your hard earned money for prostitutes, I guess that was a contributing factor. Please!!!

          August 27, 2012 at 10:37 am | Report abuse |
    • Rush

      Yep...no need for any personal accountability...hypocrite much?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:24 am | Report abuse |
    • Brenda

      Yeah, it's excuseable or understandable to rape or beat the crap out of your wife because you can't find a job. Obviouly, you have never been the victim of abuse.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:35 am | Report abuse |
  72. Tom

    In New York the person that makes more has to pay alimony...they call it spousal maintenance, and you only have to prove that you are poorer than your ex spouse to get it. My ex wife had multiple affairs, and works part time at a school. I have to pay 500 a month in spousal maintenance so that she can have the same level of life that she had when married to me. I however have to go to food pantries and am not eligible for any assistance because I make too much money. the spousal maintenance and child support run me 450 a week. So I support this womans right not to pay alimony, I am oppossed to the idea of alimony altogether. The government has no right to determine alimony if they are not going to listen to the people involved and do the right thing. This woman should not have to pay alimony to a convicted rapist where she is the victim, and I should not have to pay alimony to an ex spouse who caused the divorce by being unfaithful to me. Dont even get me started on chld support that is a whole other mess that needs some serious overhaul in this country.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:06 am | Report abuse |
    • AWT

      I was "fortunate," I guess. I lived in a southern state that still gives alimony to women. Through most of my 19-year marriage I made MUCH MUCH more than my wife. She was too busy having affairs. After *she* left, I became unemployed. (I haven't worked full-time since 2008.) My now lower income pluse being able to PROVE her unfaithfulness took alimony off the table.

      Lesson learned: Guys, If you are concerned that you may have to pay support to your Ex, get your employer to terminate your job. That shouldn't be hard to do in this economy. 😦

      August 27, 2012 at 10:29 am | Report abuse |
    • Choconet

      I compare the child support office to the welfare office. At some point in my life I've been to both and they all behave the same. Like "this is just a job and I could care less about your problems!"

      August 27, 2012 at 10:29 am | Report abuse |
  73. buccakenji

    If the guy did not get jail time, the judge in the case should be sent to jail in his place. The verdict is simply phocking stupid.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:06 am | Report abuse |
    • Richard J.

      Two different courts, two different judges. Even judges have to abide by the law, which is why they changed it.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:13 am | Report abuse |
  74. Q1

    Right...and when the woman cheats on the family and gets a divorce the man has to pay. How many men are paying support for children that aren't theirs? At least one case, publicized, of a boy, victimized by his adult, female, babysitter, is ordered to pay support because she got pregnant. Maybe, just maybe, if the family law system wasn't so broken it would be fair for both sides.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:06 am | Report abuse |
  75. fundamentality

    I am so frustrated with the ignorance of the people in our world. In Northeast Iowa, spousal support, unheard of. Especially paying it to a man. I have stories that will tear your hearts out but never are they heard. I am disgusted with men's interprutation of laws, ladies....perhaps it's time for another movement that will rattle some bones in the closets! Our injust justice system, love it when it works, despise it when it doesn't. This particular woman is one of many who has the funds for legal assistance to help her, what about the women who do not, they are the victims of society as well as their attackers supported by the judicial system's disparities...Thank you lady for putting forth and changing a potential law, for California anyway. I say, she paid over the one grand a month, probably on a weekly basis, he needs to pay her for the dehumanizing of her soul one hundred times the cost of what she was ordered to pay. The Judge needs to loose his status as well, for extreme prejeduce and inflicting pain upon another human!

    August 27, 2012 at 10:05 am | Report abuse |
    • Jeff

      Get over yourself, the system is unfair to both genders in different ways. We need to stop updating bits and pieces of antiquated laws from when women didn't work outside the home, and instead replace them with a new, well thought out system that reflects today's society.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:11 am | Report abuse |
  76. JC

    I don't get the whole spousal support thing. Your marriage ends, you split up the property/assets, go your separate ways, and support yourself like two adults. Child support, yes. Spouse support, BS. That's one good thing about living in Texas.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:01 am | Report abuse |
  77. Jorge

    I sympathize with this woman but this is a dumb law.
    Statistics show women claim abuse more than men, and almost every woman in a situation where a woman is the main earner will claim abuse to not pay support.

    August 27, 2012 at 10:00 am | Report abuse |
    • KD7887

      JORGE- How can you say you sympathize with this woman BUT the law is dumb?? You honestly don't sympathize with her if you feel this is not a good & beneficial law. Because the law is designed to help victims of spousal abuse, women like Crystal Harris, and men are victims of abuse too. I listened to the radio clip but don't remember hearing the law only protects women. I'm assuming it protects ALL victims, women & men, of spousal abuse. Do you have proof like links to back up your claim of "stats" showing women who are "breadwinner's" in their families will claim spousal abuse to get out of paying any support? Just can't throw statements out like that without being able to back it up. That's an awful, bitter, and horrendous claim to make btw and spousal abuse is something to not take lightly.

      August 27, 2012 at 12:06 pm | Report abuse |
  78. Tam

    Some of the men replying here have not chips, but logs on their shoulders.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:59 am | Report abuse |
    • KD7887

      YES, some do, and I've noticed that too, Tam. It's rather disturbing considering the topic quite frankly. Some of them are coming off defensive and also a bit too chauvinistic for my liking as well.

      August 27, 2012 at 12:40 pm | Report abuse |
  79. NorCalMojo

    Family law isn't about what's fair, it's about keeping people off of welfare. Usually it's the woman. In this case it's the man.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:59 am | Report abuse |
  80. Sheila

    I saw this story on TV–unbelievable. And yes, he was a leech–played video games all day to the point where she considered having to put the kids in daycare so they would be looked after.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:57 am | Report abuse |
  81. FBJ

    Anyone got that video?

    August 27, 2012 at 9:57 am | Report abuse |
    • Matt

      Go away.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:00 am | Report abuse |
    • Ned

      Why? You are as sick as this guy.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:01 am | Report abuse |
  82. Rachel

    Hey, read the article (if you can). She RECORDED the abuse on tape. There is video documentation. But I bet all you did was see the headline and jump to conclusions. What does that say about you? I believe it implies that you are a true misogynist and/or that you believe it's ok to rape. Or just that you're too lazy to read, I do hope it's the last reason.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:55 am | Report abuse |
  83. Todd Akin

    Was it legitimate abuse? If not, the female body has a way to shut that stuff down....

    August 27, 2012 at 9:54 am | Report abuse |
    • Really

      @Todd Akin...Get over it already. I think we have heard enough cr@p over this subject Todd. Moving on.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:02 am | Report abuse |
  84. GetAlife

    Lol you're afraid of big scary women aren't you? "Feminist move." You're probably a p***y whipped b*tch boy who comes online to try to act like a man while your girlfriend's out working to support your lazy @ss.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:51 am | Report abuse |
    • CONRAD

      It's sexist men like you who make men who stay at home with their children feel bad about themselves, for no meaningful reason. Feeling bad about oneself and believing that men are supposed to be in control blah blah blah is no doubt the very thinking that leads to this type of violence.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:05 am | Report abuse |
  85. paulamcgregor

    You are clearly missing the point.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:50 am | Report abuse |
  86. HenryMiller

    "What are [my] thoughts about Crystal’s story?"

    The judge who ordered her to pay "spousal support" ought to be hanged. That's my thought on the issue.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:50 am | Report abuse |
    • Kelly

      While I have not read the Calif alimony/support statute, this may be the fault of the legislature and not the judiciary. Increasingly, the legislative branch (distrustful of the judiciary) is passing legislation which prohibits the judiciary from exercising the sort of discretion you would expect and requiring the judiciary to apply a mathematical formula regardless of the underlying circumstances. You saw this in the 1980s-2000s with mandatory sentencing guidelines. That said, I agree the ruling here was shameful. The question is, where does the blame actually belong?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:00 am | Report abuse |
    • Ned

      Because he followed the law. Go away.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:02 am | Report abuse |
  87. john brown

    As long as the abuse is real, documented, and prosecuted separarately to support this. I would hate to see refusal to pay alimony based on a wife refusing to give a B-Job and then claiming forced copulation.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:49 am | Report abuse |
    • D. Carter

      Just get ready for males to start taping and catching wives abusing them-will make it really easy for them to get out of paying alimony! Remember no double standards.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:55 am | Report abuse |
      • Vad

        Very true D. How many guys have been slapped in the face or hit in the groin for whatever reason by a girlfriend or wife and never reported it? Now they have a reson to report. On it's face this is a good law. In practice it will benefit people who twist the law more than those who need this protection.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:04 am | Report abuse |
        • Under reported

          How many women don't report abuse at the hands or mouths of their husbands or boyfriends? A lot. I was abused by a boyfriend and again recently by a fiance. My sister was put in the hospital by her boyfriend more than 10 years ago... he was never charged. Lots of us make excuses for them and even help them get out of trouble when they do get caught.

          August 27, 2012 at 10:47 am | Report abuse |
      • @D Carter

        Women are abused alot more then men. There had to be a law to cover this subject. There are women that do abuse their husbands, but it is not as a high number as men abusing women.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:05 am | Report abuse |
    • cryspyx

      hence why they added in "Convicted" to make sure. you can't just claim it, you have to also prove it.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:00 am | Report abuse |
    • Brenda

      Hey John Brown, if a wife REFUSES to give her husband a B-job and he FORCES her to, guess what??? That's rape... Forced copulation.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:43 am | Report abuse |
  88. michele

    She was raped you idiot. Her husband deserves absolutely nothing from her-certainly not any form of support.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:49 am | Report abuse |
  89. Vad

    Sounds like she was really attacked and got justice. I can see a lot of people abusing this law before a divorce though. How bad does the abuse have to be before spousal support is surrendered? Does verbal abuse count? Can't wait to see the celebrity rich who claim they are abused so they don't have to pay out. Should make for good headlines in the future.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:48 am | Report abuse |
  90. Jeanne Clark

    A Judge ordered her to pay alimoney? Is anyone questioning that judge's fitness to do his job? We pretend that the US is not abusive to women but a close look at our legal system reveals the truth. Discrepancies in legal penalties based on sex are well documented and wide spread in this country. Not widely publisized however. Hmmm, I wonder who edits most news stories?

    August 27, 2012 at 9:45 am | Report abuse |
    • Jeanne Clark

      Was it "forcible rape"?

      August 27, 2012 at 9:49 am | Report abuse |
    • Sandy Strand

      "Discrepancies in legal penalties based on sex are well documented and wide spread in this country."

      Yes, this is true, but the discrimination is always against men. A woman can sue for divorce on the grounds of HER OWM adultery and promptly be awarded alimony, custody and the house, while her ex-husband is forced by law to keep making the alimoney payments. Fact.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:01 am | Report abuse |
  91. woodie

    So basically a woman can claim spousal abuse and not have to pay alimony. I can see the legal abuses this will create too. If you are unhappy in a marriage, then you could claim that is abuse, even though you created the unhappiness.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:45 am | Report abuse |
    • GT66

      They already do and often there is no proof of abuse required. In this case this woman has a legitimate claim however, many just use the "abuse" canard to game the system in their favor.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:51 am | Report abuse |
    • Faith

      Woodie needs to go back to grade school and take reading comprehension too.
      It says "prohibit victims of spousal abuse from having to pay alimony to their convicted abuser". The key word is "convicted" if you didn't figure that out.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:51 am | Report abuse |
    • cranberry99

      Seriously Woodie? It takes two, you know. classic....

      August 27, 2012 at 9:53 am | Report abuse |
    • HenryMiller

      There's a huge difference between "claiming" it and "proving it." Apparently this woman had recorded evidence of the abuse–not that difficult to get when just about any phone can be used to record audio and you can get micro video and audio recorders for not a lot of bucks.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:54 am | Report abuse |
    • Kelsey

      She didn't CLAIM that he abused her. He was CONVICTED of abusing her. There is a BIG difference.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:54 am | Report abuse |
    • kard

      You are assuming that just because you claim abuse, you won't have to pay alimony in a divorce. I believe the path here is that the abuser needs to be convicted and then you won't have to pay alimony to the loser husband and conman.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:54 am | Report abuse |
    • Buck

      Woodie, claiming is one thing but she had CLEAR proof it happened. I guess you didn't bother reading because it clearly states in this article that she caught one of those violent events on tape.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:56 am | Report abuse |
    • OhComeOn!

      If you carefully read the first paragraph of this short story you'll find this: "...that would prohibit victims of spousal abuse from having to pay alimony to their CONVICTED ABUSER". So no, you can't just claim it and get off the hook – the abuser has to be convicted in a court of law.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:56 am | Report abuse |
    • Les

      Did you listen to that recording? Geez, louise – she sounds a little more than just 'unhappy.'

      August 27, 2012 at 9:57 am | Report abuse |
    • GetAlife

      Convicted. The spouse has to be convicted of abuse. So relax.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:59 am | Report abuse |
    • cryspyx

      no they don't have to pay to their CONVICTED abuser. read the article

      August 27, 2012 at 10:02 am | Report abuse |
    • Me

      Really? The guy was convicted of raping his wife. Quit with the slippery slope crap.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:04 am | Report abuse |
      • John Smithing

        You can't rape your own wife, that's just called sex. After the divorce now that's a different story.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:54 am | Report abuse |
        • KD7887

          Oh WOW, you are seriously WRONG, John. Just because a man & woman are married, that does NOT mean rape cannot ocurr at anytime during the marriage. NO still means NO at any given time when either spouse wants to have sex. In this case, she obviously said NO to her ex-husband, but he was NOT listening or going to have that. He wanted what HE wanted, and most likely it was more about gaining control over her or overpowering her. Abusers want control, want to be able to manipulate, and empower their victims. Because they feel they don't have power anywhere else, usually have low self-esteem, feel inferior to everyone, and so much more. When someone says NO to sex in any situation, marriage or not, that one word should be respected and understood. Forcing your wife into sex IS rape, especially when she's crying, screaming in pain, and yelling NO, STOP, that means she is not having fun, and really wants it to stop.

          August 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm | Report abuse |
    • Richard J.

      You're reading something into this that is not there. He was CONVICTED of abuse. That is different than being granted a divorce over abuse.

      ergo, you cannot claim abuse to get out of paying alimony unless there is a conviction.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:07 am | Report abuse |
    • Rebecca

      Here we go with victim blaming again. He RAPED her. On video. What sociopath honestly believes that if a woman is raped, she should have to pay her attacker for anything, including alimony? He should have to pay her. Oh, he doesn't have a job? Maybe he could rent himself out to some prisons...that would be true justice.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:09 am | Report abuse |
    • Danny

      My understanding of the law is that the spouse would have to be convicted. And if that's the case then the burden of proof would rest on the victim and be very high. So, yes, people could try to abuse it, but it would be very difficult.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:13 am | Report abuse |
    • Martini

      Woodie, I totally understand your fear, however, in this situation it seems there was extensive evidence of this abuse. I would hope that would be the case in future situations as well. We have to protect people in these abusive relationships that are seeking help, not continue to punish them. I know men who have been physically abused by their significant others as well. No one HUMAN should have to be furthur humiliated by having to pay the person who abused them in the first place.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:41 am | Report abuse |
  92. Gerald

    This story is exactly why CNN should just go out and die, good bye

    August 27, 2012 at 9:44 am | Report abuse |
    • HenryMiller

      Or maybe you should. That might be the simpler solution.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:55 am | Report abuse |
    • Tam

      Have some issues, Gerald?

      August 27, 2012 at 9:59 am | Report abuse |
      • bencoates57

        Gerald is right. CNN panders to what it knows are its customers' sensibilities without actually doing the investigative journalism to get the whole story and get it right. How else would you explain the post-Akin article by the attorney claiming to have been raped, Sandra Fluke being hired as a correspondent, and the hundred stories a week for dog lovers. Pathetic.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:26 am | Report abuse |
    • Jack

      Why should CNN go out business, verbal abuse or physical abuse of another person should never be allowed; whether man, women or child.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:59 am | Report abuse |
    • GetAlife

      A man who believes women should not only take abuse silently, but also pay to support their abusers...hmmm who should go die?

      August 27, 2012 at 10:03 am | Report abuse |
  93. Sharon Naehring

    Shame on the court system that allowed this violator to be rewarded for the violence he inflicted on his wife! Domestic Violence has a long way to come before it reaches the point that these violators will start serving the just time they deserve! I hope Governor Brown has no hesitation in signing this bill immediately, and for you Crystal – may God Bless you and your family and keep you safe! We need more Crystal's in this world to continue to fight against these terrible and abusive individuals. I am the Mother of a Daughter that was violoated by a shooting – thank goodness she is alive, but her ex-husband spent little time for nearly taking her life. With the bill being signed by Governor Brown, may stiffer consequences follow!

    August 27, 2012 at 9:43 am | Report abuse |
  94. Worried

    So, all someone has to do to avoid paying spousal support is claim abuse? That is a scary precident. Is the same going to be done for child support?

    August 27, 2012 at 9:42 am | Report abuse |
    • Faith

      Worried, apparently you don't read very well. It says "prohibit victims of spousal abuse from having to pay alimony to their convicted abuser". The key word is "convicted" if you didn't figure that out.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:48 am | Report abuse |
    • sbp

      Child support? You mean not having to pay child support if you can prove your child abused you?

      August 27, 2012 at 9:48 am | Report abuse |
      • Chicago77

        Big difference between children and adults. Convicted adults.

        August 27, 2012 at 9:59 am | Report abuse |
      • WTF? READ THE ARTICLE AGAIN!!!

        sbp, CHILD SUPPORT IS NOT THE SAME THING AS SPOUSAL SUPPORT/ALIMONY!!!!!!! Child support is for the child, not the spouse, its unfortunate that so many people out there don't see the difference. What they are talking about is alimony, this has nothing to do with the kids.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:08 am | Report abuse |
    • Ol cranky

      his isn't someone just "claiming" to be abused, there was evidence of it and he was convicted

      August 27, 2012 at 9:53 am | Report abuse |
    • kard

      It was the 2nd time and he had threatened to kill her for months. So ... yeah ... she taped him.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:56 am | Report abuse |
    • Chicago77

      Were you under the bed at the time too? You seem to know exactly what happened.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:01 am | Report abuse |
    • Jack

      I think you might little naive with that comment, think it out a little bit further!

      August 27, 2012 at 10:04 am | Report abuse |
  95. New Gawker

    Rapists allowed to seek custody of the child born of his victim. Paying abusers alimony. This is all insanity.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:42 am | Report abuse |
    • CONRAD

      We have a long way to go baby ...

      August 27, 2012 at 10:02 am | Report abuse |
  96. Macy

    Is there a reasonable legal explantation for the original judges ruling?

    August 27, 2012 at 9:35 am | Report abuse |
    • Chicago77

      @Macy
      He was a stay-at-home dad raising the children and his wife supported him financially. In cases like this, when it's the woman who stayed home to raise the kids, she gets alimony. The judge blindly went with the norm and ignored the fact that this husband raped his wife. Twice. And was convicted of the felony that it was. Which should have superceded the norm. The legislator moved to pass a bill that would prevent this in the future by taking such a decision away from judicial discretion.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:08 am | Report abuse |
  97. tom

    What type of moron judge would make that call for this woman to pay her abuser alimony? He should be made to apologize to this poor woman.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:34 am | Report abuse |
    • Applythelaw

      The judge had to apply the law. The blame does not lie with the judge. It lies with the legislature that put a law in place without the appropriate carve-out for situations like this.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:43 am | Report abuse |
  98. Diane

    It seems some of our countrymen are catching up with civilization. Not like the taliban.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:34 am | Report abuse |
  99. brussell

    But stupid bitchez that cheat on their husbands get paid. Whaa I say!

    August 27, 2012 at 9:33 am | Report abuse |
    • kard

      Cheating isn't to be looked on lightly, but I think we can all agree that physical abuse and threatening to kill your spouse weighs a good bit heavier.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:00 am | Report abuse |
    • Chicago77

      I do know of a recent case in NY where a wife, who had been a stay-at-home mom, cheated on her husband, left him for the other guy and took their kids with her, then filed for divorce. The judge ordered the husband to pay his ex alimony plus her legal fees and give her the house. Including child support he is now left with barely enough to buy food, let alone rent, utilities and gas. He has to get a second job to support himself because his wife cheated and left him to be with another man, There was no abuse in this case so, yes, this one screams injustice too.

      August 27, 2012 at 10:16 am | Report abuse |
  100. pmn

    That's terrible. She should pay spousal support since it appears to be a leech.

    August 27, 2012 at 9:33 am | Report abuse |
    • pmn

      Im I awake enough...geez she should NOT pay spousal support to a bum and leech.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:34 am | Report abuse |
    • Diane

      You OK?

      August 27, 2012 at 9:35 am | Report abuse |
    • Al

      So a woman who stays home with the kids is virtuous, but the man who does is a leech? Typical double-standard.

      August 27, 2012 at 9:51 am | Report abuse |
      • CONRAD

        Exactly, No doubt he was at home listening to other men blather on about 'manhood' roles etc. making him feel inadequate for taking care of his family in the way that best suited their situation ... further adding to his obvious emotional problems. Why isn't it possible to simply be supportive of each other regardless of the roles we play? Women often make more money then men these days, so this family situation isn't so abnormal anymore. Time to drop the hyper-enforced gender roles already. It's an ugly blight upon society.

        August 27, 2012 at 10:11 am | Report abuse |
      • W

        He isn't a leech for being a stay at home dad. He is a leech, a rapist, and should be in prison because he abused, beat, and raped the woman he was married to. What kind of world are you living in where you think that this sort of case is a double standard? Your view of the world is actually very very creepy.

        August 27, 2012 at 11:32 am | Report abuse |
        • Packleader

          People have a lot of time on their hands. The folks responding are all at home kicking back and not at work. Right?

          August 27, 2012 at 12:36 pm | Report abuse |
        • Howie

          Abused and beat yes, raped – no. There is a difference.

          August 27, 2012 at 1:21 pm | Report abuse |
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