Victim to victor
The story of Crystal Harris spurred the California legislature into action.
August 27th, 2012
06:30 AM ET

Victim to victor

By Jim Roope, CNN

Editor's Note: This story contains content some may find objectionable for younger listeners.

Los Angeles (CNN) - The California legislature unanimously passed a bill last week that would prohibit victims of spousal abuse from having to pay alimony to their convicted abuser. The bill is a result of one California woman who says she was a victim of spousal abuse and the justice system.

[:48] “Four years ago, my husband attacked me. He raped me and I just…it’s hard to talk about,” said 39-year-old mother of two, Crystal Harris.

Harris is a successful financial planner and her husband, Shawn, was a stay-at-home dad raising their two boys. Harris said in the years after their second son was born, her husband began to get violent. First verbally then physically, and as the years progressed it only got worse.

[1:14] “He had been threatening to kill me for months before that and I believed him,” she said. “And so it was the second attack in less than a week where the violence was so escalated that shifted my whole world where I didn’t really think I was going to survive that attack.”

That second attack happened on March 28, 2008. She caught the second attack on tape.

When Shawn Harris was convicted of forced oral copulation, the judge ordered Crystal to pay her husband, her convicted attacker, spousal support; $1,000 per month and to pay his legal fees.

She reached out to the California legislature for help.

[6:59] “I was shocked to learn Crystal had to pay alimony and legal fees to her abuser," said Democratic Assembly Member Toni Akins. “I think that’s the whole point to what led me to picking up this bill and moving it forward.”

The bill now goes to Governor Jerry Brown for his signature. Atkins says there is every indication he will sign it into law.

What are your thoughts about Crystal’s story? Join the conversation below.

soundoff (1,304 Responses)
  1. ELA

    I have never, ever posted in response to an article or news in my life. However, I must do it this time. Be clear that I rather rot in prison or hell for the rest of my life or eternally than pay a penny to the sorry imitation of a man that did something like this to me. Have I been sufficiently clear?

    August 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm | Report abuse |
    • guest

      No. What is your point?

      August 27, 2012 at 7:06 pm | Report abuse |
  2. kaaren

    I was abused in a one year marriage and because I made more money the judge ordered me to pay my abuser as well. It sucks, because i live in texas and it is community property the judge did not care about what he called "any emotional" issues and that marriage was about assets and division of those assets. the judges are assholes in texas. i had to pay 2500 dollars to his attorney and i am almost done paying 7500 dollars to him. we were only married a year and i had to fight him to just get half the bills, now i am having to pay him the half the bills back. it's just ridiculous. i am scarred.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • Rachel

      Are you certain it was alimony? I believe Texas law requires a couple to be married ten years before a judge may lawfully award alimony.

      August 27, 2012 at 7:00 pm | Report abuse |
      • Stannous Floride

        From a Texas law firm:

        Texas does not have alimony, but it does have spousal support. The court can order one spouse to provide financial support for the other during the time between the filing of the divorce action and the final decree. In addition, if the parties have been married for at least 10 years, and if the court finds that one spouse needs financial help, the court can order the spouse with greater earnings and earning potential to provide financial support to the other for up to three years. In special cases, such as a spouse with mental or physical disabilities, the time can exceed three years. The amount depends upon the ability of the paying spouse to pay, and the needs of the receiving spouse.

        August 27, 2012 at 8:13 pm | Report abuse |
  3. KPJ

    I agree no man should put his hand on a woman.....But there better be documented proof that he did. Some women will fabricate the abuse to get out of paying. Dont think some of these women area not master manipulators. I hope the same holds true for the man thats abused.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:43 pm | Report abuse |
    • yo!

      The woman in this article got the attack ON TAPE. Is this not enough for you? The law applies to CONVICTED abusers, which requires evidence beyond the shadow of a doubt.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm | Report abuse |
      • Down with California

        In California it requires a call to the cops. Then the cops and DA make up the rest to make their records looks good. You dumb ass look at her picture she looks like a prude she could have staged the tape to get her way.

        August 27, 2012 at 7:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • jessica

      She recorded the second attack. What more do you need?

      August 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Michael

    I agree with many of the posts on here in that forced sex is rape regardless of if someone is your spose. Marriage gives no one the right to force anything on their spouse. Also, as far as I am concerned, if you raise your hand to your spouse, regardless if you are man or woman and regardless if you are a house husband or house wife then you forfeit your right to claim anything in the divorce. How anyone could feel that this idiot judge was justified in awarding this cowardly punk of a male (because he is no man) is a complete mystery to me. That cowardly punk deserves nothing.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:40 pm | Report abuse |
    • NSL

      The judge had no right under the law to not award alimony.

      August 27, 2012 at 8:01 pm | Report abuse |
  5. 2el8

    Johnny lives in his mothers basement and the only wife/girlfriend he has is his hand.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:35 pm | Report abuse |
  6. everything in Moderation

    Johnny, if you don't know that it's possible for a man to rape his wife, then you need an education before it's too late for you, a woman you know, or the criminal justice system if you're ever allowed to sit on a jury.
    Wife no longer means "owned by and obedient to." If a man forces himself on a woman—regardless of whether he's married to her—it's rape.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Leah

    Johnny, you are the problem that plagues millions of abused women. Get it together, idiot.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm | Report abuse |
  8. thade76

    UUMMM forcing sex on your wife against her will is called rape, you bronze age cave dweller.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm | Report abuse |
  9. fatblackfrancis

    That's a bit of a stupid/possesive thing to say, ofcourse a man can rape his wife. Any one that doesn't consent to sex, be them male or female is a victim of rape.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm | Report abuse |
  10. sedona

    It's the kind of sense you are lacking....common sense!

    August 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm | Report abuse |
  11. duckhorn

    The California legislature unanimously passed a bill last week that would prohibit victims of spousal abuse from having to pay alimony to their convicted abuser.

    Where does it single out women it says "victims" which mean the person who is the victim either male or female won't have to pay alimony to the convicted abuser.All you rednecks that read this as only women, need to wake up. And the ones that say how can you rape your wife are idiots. Just because she is your wife does not mean if she say no that you can force her to have sex with you. NO STILL MEANS NO MARRIED OR NOT.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm | Report abuse |
  12. AnExWife

    No means no, regardless of who you are. If she says no, whether she's your wife or not......NO MEANS NO and if you force her, then it's rape. Hope that clears up any confusion for you.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Raj

    Just because you are married to someone, it doesn't mean that they are your property. If she says, it means you don't do it.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:29 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Jennifer

    I cannot believe this question is still being asked today. Johnny, if she did not want to do it and he made her, it doesn't matter if she's his wife, friend, daughter, or stranger – he violated her. Is this really not self-evident to you?? Frightening.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:29 pm | Report abuse |
  15. jimroopecnn

    Hey Everyone,
    Many of you are making comments without knowing the complete story. Listen to it by clicking the play button below the picture. I truly appreciate you all being here but I urge you to listen to the complete story.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:29 pm | Report abuse |
    • Dee

      With all due respect to CNN – please stop repeating yourself. I might "listen to the audio" if the computer I am using had speakers. Perhaps CNN could just print the entire story and stop expecting people to listen to anything.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:46 pm | Report abuse |
  16. Jennifer

    I cannot believe this question is still being asked today. Johnny, ANY sexual act that is forced is rape! If she did not want to do it and he made her, it doesn't matter if she's his wife, friend, daughter, or stranger. Is this really not self-evident to you?? Frightening.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm | Report abuse |
  17. Amused

    How can you rape your own wife? If your wife does not want to have sexual intercourse with you and your force her to, it is considered rape. Just because you are married does not get you the right to sex whenever you please...

    August 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm | Report abuse |
  18. jimroopecnn

    Listen to the story by clicking the audio play button below the picture. Your question will be answered.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm | Report abuse |
  19. DontBelieveFauxNews

    "How can you rape your wife?"

    Just because you are married to an individual does not mean you have "rights" to her/his body. NO means NO.

    Got it?

    August 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm | Report abuse |
  20. Codepwned

    If I forced you on your knees and shoved my something in my mouth making you gag, choke etc... you'd probably not like it. That's what forced oral copulation is. There is a certain level of respect every human being deserves. When you cross that line you go against everything you pledged in your marriage. So yes, you can rape someone you are married to.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • Billy C.

      See, that's where I stop buying her story. No one is forcibly shoving his penis in a hole full of teeth where she is not a willing participant. Double goes for the videotape. This chick was into hardcore BDSM stuff and talked hubby into making a video so she could take him to the cleaners. Jeez, people.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm | Report abuse |
  21. Manna

    Your comment suggests that you equate rape with sex. Rape is an act of violence, intended to exert power and control over another person. Sex is intended for the pleasure of both parties. One can rape his wife by forcing her to submit to sex, just as a man can rape a woman previously unknown to him. Just as you need consent for intimacy in a dating relationship, you need consent for intimacy in a marital relationship. The marital relationship does not give a man a "right" to sexual relations with his wife. And of course, vice versa.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:26 pm | Report abuse |
  22. Rem1061

    NO woman can be compelled to have sex. Just because you are married to her it does not give you the right to force her to have sex in any form with you. If you aren't man enough to entice her to wanting to have sex with you then do without. I have been married 35 years and my wife looks forward to it. And if she says no I am also man enough to take it to mean just that, NO. Only creatures with testicles have to force themselves on a woman, and they sure don't deserve the lable of men.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm | Report abuse |
  23. Kim

    Johnny you can't be serious, rape is when one party does not consent to a sex act. Husbands rape wives very day. If she was forced it was rape, does this really need to be explained to you???

    August 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm | Report abuse |
  24. joshuapbeauregard

    You're kidding, right? Your comment was the first stupid comment on this article – complete with insensitivity and inability to make sense of something like rape and what it means. Do us all a favor, and block yourself from posting ever again.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm | Report abuse |
  25. MsPeaches

    No means NO!!! And if he forces you, then its RAPE!

    August 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm | Report abuse |
  26. Steve

    Johnny, you're an absolute cretin. You can rape your own wife by forcing sex upon her against her will. Rape is rape no matter who is involved.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm | Report abuse |
  27. zeke

    When she says "NO". You have won the "Tool of the day"!!!

    August 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm | Report abuse |
  28. EX

    Whoever said that if you marry someone it gives you the right to force them to have sex with you. You're a pig.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm | Report abuse |
  29. monotrophic

    There's a formula for that: take the number of times you learned something of value in your life, in your case it wouldn't be anything higher then a two digit number, and convert that into seconds. Next, multiply that by the highest number you can possibly count to, again, probably two digits. Last, place your entire body into incoming traffic.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm | Report abuse |
  30. Katie

    Stop thinking of rape as some kind of sex. Rape is NOT sex. Rape is the forced, unwanted insertion of someone (or something) INSIDE another human being. This is not sex – this is domination and power asserted by one individual over another. YES some poor excuses for husbands rape their wives – wives DO have the right to say no and husbands DO have the obligation to abide by that – despite the fact a wedding ring is involved, a man absolutely does not have the right to force himself into his wife. A REAL man knows that and would never, ever force his way inside his wife.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm | Report abuse |
    • Billy C.

      Katy just gave me a stiffie.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm | Report abuse |
  31. piedsniper

    When it isn't consensual.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:18 pm | Report abuse |
  32. Rachel

    Husband's do not have the right to have sex with their wives anytime they want. To force a woman to do so is rape. How can you not know this? Are you from another country that men can rape their wives? Welcome to America.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:17 pm | Report abuse |
  33. realism

    -you want some but she does not want to give it up......pretty self-explanitory there, really. It does not matter if you knew the victim, are dating them or married to them, etc etc. noticed I used THEM instead of HER, because guys get raped too.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm | Report abuse |
  34. Really?

    If you say NO and it is forced on you against your will... That is rape. Doesn't matter if she was his wife. She's a person, she has say over her body and not HIS property.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm | Report abuse |
  35. Your Panties in Texas

    Johnny, I totally agree with you. I don't understand it, either.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm | Report abuse |
  36. jimroopecnn

    Listen to the complete story by clicking the audio play button below the story. Your question will be answered.

    August 27, 2012 at 6:09 pm | Report abuse |
  37. QS

    How long has it been that our laws have been so severely lacking in common sense?

    August 27, 2012 at 6:00 pm | Report abuse |
  38. Drin


    Most Comment Boards have ways to report abuses of the Rules of Conduct, but I found no means to flag inappropriate comments made throughout the posts for this segment. Please, PLEASE have someone look at some of the comments that promote marital rape, that denigrate rape victims, and other inappropriate comments left today.

    Thank you,
    A Repulsed CNN Viewer

    August 27, 2012 at 5:50 pm | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      Thank you. I'll pass this along to the powers that be in ATL.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm | Report abuse |
    • Mexi

      Grow up.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:53 pm | Report abuse |
    • Nancy B

      This is the first time I have visited CNN's news website. Needless to say Drin, I will not be visiting it again until they clean up these useless comments. Thank you for addressing this issue with the monitors.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:03 pm | Report abuse |
      • jimroopecnn

        Nancy B,
        Please don't let the lack of compassion and viciousness of some people keep you from our site. I have asked my bosses about this issue raised by Drin. It is obvious the many of those whose comments were vitriolic did not listen to the complete story by clicking the play button below the picture. Thank you for reaching out.

        August 27, 2012 at 6:08 pm | Report abuse |
      • 2el8

        Dear CNN Please delete above comment.

        August 27, 2012 at 6:38 pm | Report abuse |
      • jimroopecnn

        The comment section is being cleaned up now.

        August 27, 2012 at 6:44 pm | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      THe comments are being cleaned up now. Thank you Drin

      August 27, 2012 at 6:44 pm | Report abuse |
  39. Mexi

    Spousal abuse laws are stacked for women. Good luck to any man, you will need it.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:48 pm | Report abuse |
    • RMF

      What? Did you not read the article? What this "man" did to her is disgusting. There is no reason why she should have to pay him. There is nothing in the court that is "stacked" against men. Men need to stop abusing women. Period. This particular man needs to get a job as well.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • Karma

      And this Mexi tells me you are a primitive person to think this way. We ALL know what type of people are primitive in their way of thinking...

      August 27, 2012 at 6:39 pm | Report abuse |
  40. Ang

    I agree with the bill. I know of woman who are abused for years and once divorced they have to pay him allmony because he is too lazy to work and she has custody of the kids. The woman should not have to suffer financially too. I also know woman who abuse. I have seen both kids.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:45 pm | Report abuse |
  41. jlf

    what law in Californis allowed that ruling. why would you reward an abuser for his heinous act. i don't get it. thank God she spoke up,. that the assembly person heard her and wrote a bill and it was passed...hopefully Governor Brown will sign it asap..i wonder since it was passed after the judgement if the ruling can be overturned. for her sake i hope so. first abused by her husband, then the judical system.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:45 pm | Report abuse |
  42. badcyclist

    There should be a systematic reform of these laws to protect both men and women.

    There are allegations of abuse in almost all divorces, many of them untrue or wildly exaggerated. And that goes both ways. It also includes often wild allegations of child abuse. These sorts of wild claims will only increase if these kinds of piecemeal reforms are enacted.

    So is this legit, or simply a way to get out of spousal support? We don't know and probably never will know. This is the sort of situation that no-fault divorce and spousal support were designed to avoid. And by and large, the no-fault rules are better than this sort of grandstanding legislation.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:45 pm | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      There has to be a felony conviction which means a criminal trial and all that entails. It won't be easy and accusations won't invoke the law. Thank you for your comment. If you click the play button below the picture and listen to the complete story your questions will be answered.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:50 pm | Report abuse |
    • LGriff

      They did indicate that his last attack was videotaped and contributed to him being convicted. But I see your point about cases where people cry "wolf" to take advantage during the divorce hearing. However, in this case, it seems that there was strong evidence that the abuse had occurred.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:55 pm | Report abuse |
    • Jules

      Dude, read the article. It says she caught her assault on tape and he was tried and convicted for it.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm | Report abuse |
    • Damoe

      As the story states, she got the 2nd attack on video.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:12 pm | Report abuse |
  43. Saul the Finance Guy

    Glad she finally left Hefner... Why force oral when you can get it free?

    August 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm | Report abuse |
  44. Saul the Finance Guy

    So if my wife smacks me in the head for being a dumbass (which happens time to time) does that give me an easy out? Just get it on tape and I'm free? How do I get out of the child support?

    August 27, 2012 at 5:32 pm | Report abuse |
    • jerry

      You're a man...therefore you're screwed.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • DC1973

      Do you seriously not see the difference between a playful smack on the back of the head and rape? Seriously?

      August 27, 2012 at 5:35 pm | Report abuse |
      • jerry

        Which is worse, baseball bat to the head or penis where the sun dont shine...?

        August 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm | Report abuse |
        • yo!

          Only a man would be unsure of whether his head was more or equally valuable as his junk. This is the problem with men. They are unable to think.

          August 27, 2012 at 7:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • Glazed

      Nope, but if she holds your face to her crotch and makes you go to town until she comes, then you have a case

      August 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm | Report abuse |
    • Saul the Finance Guy

      Playful? That hurt! My ear was red.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm | Report abuse |
    • Darcy Boulton

      Keep yourself in your pants. Don't have children. You don't sound like the best generic material anyway.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:41 pm | Report abuse |
    • LGriff

      You get out of child support when the children become of age (or finish college). Spousal support and child support are two different sets of responsibilities. You make babies - you have to pay for their care, either in marriage or in divorce. Depriving your children of money for their care because you don't like their ex is not one of your options.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:57 pm | Report abuse |
    • RMF

      Nice, You want to have kids and not support them. Your wife didn't marry a man, she married a loser. Be a man and step up and take care of your children.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:59 pm | Report abuse |
    • Katie

      If your wife held you down and forced something inside you then you can claim abuse. Or if you catch on tape the fact that she constantly beats you and you appear to be humiliated, dominated, and fearful for your life, you can claim abuse. Until then, you are just another jerk.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm | Report abuse |
  45. jack wilkerson

    Give me a damn break ,please. This women has moxey and can have a real life with a man should she desire. MEN can be real assholes with women . JACK WILKERSON ,CHARLOTTESVILLE ,VA

    August 27, 2012 at 5:31 pm | Report abuse |
  46. debbie

    as bad as this is, I found the story about the young lawyer raped at knife point haveing to allow rapist visitation with her daughter, worse. The laws that are in effect in 31 states that allow this, were sponsored by radical prolifers to limit a woman's ability to get an abortion after rape, sad sad sad

    August 27, 2012 at 5:31 pm | Report abuse |
    • Glazed

      Don't you worry Debbie, people like "Fair and Balanced" below already know that "Legitimate Rape" doesn't ever result in pregnancy, so of course the supposed rapist is in-titled... Isn't that right Mr. "Fair and Balanced". Oh and since you say I need help, sure tell me where we can meet for some coffee. I'll let you "help" me.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm | Report abuse |
      • Disgusted in Virgina

        Glazed, Thank God you are in the minority. Your belief that a woman can shut down her productive system is absolutely the stupided thing I have heard. One person in government may think that, but thank God, only one.
        Rape is rape – every rape is legitimate. I'll repeat that – EVERY RAPE IS LEGITIMATE.

        August 27, 2012 at 7:00 pm | Report abuse |
      • Mike D

        @glazed – did you know in the USA a significant amount of men are raped more than women each year? Again it's the anti-man bias, rape in the US affect far more men than women.

        August 27, 2012 at 7:23 pm | Report abuse |
  47. Victory Gin

    Hey Douche...who says we have to follow your book of fiction????? Thankfully, I don't HAVE to go to church on Sunday and listen to that horse shite.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:31 pm | Report abuse |
  48. Fair and Balanced

    "Glazed". You indeed are. What a biased and ignorant thing to say. Seek help.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm | Report abuse |
    • Glazed

      hahahahaha, "Fair and Balanced".... Obviously a fox news follower. Ahh yes, Fox News, where we don't need facts. If we say it, then it's true!

      You're the one that needs help!!!!

      August 27, 2012 at 5:34 pm | Report abuse |
  49. Gary

    Seems it is another of the endless string of pathetic "news posts" from the folks on the left coast. Hoping the big one is coming soon to take some morons into the sea

    August 27, 2012 at 5:27 pm | Report abuse |
  50. JOHN

    Don't understand your post. You point is...?

    August 27, 2012 at 5:22 pm | Report abuse |
  51. jimroopecnn

    If you listen to the story by clicking the play botton below the picture, you'll hear that this was a bipartisan bill co-authored by a Democrat and Republican. The bill passed in both houses of the California legislature unanimously.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:21 pm | Report abuse |
  52. svann

    I would hope that the bill requires the spouse actually be CONVICTED of spousal abuse in a full trial before any adjustment is made. Accusations should not be enough, you need proof. Even a tape isnt enough unless it is presented in a formal trial.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:16 pm | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      That is correct. There has to be a felony conviction which means a criminal trial.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • Yvgeny

      Excellent point. Plus there should be a documented history of abuse, not just one time. Too easy to beat yourself up to save a bundle. Also, don't think only men are abusive. Women abuse kids 3 times more often than men.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm | Report abuse |
      • Katie

        Abusers tend to abuse those they can control – someone smaller, weaker, or easily dominated. We as a society have to stop finding fault with the victim and start working harder to end the cycle. Abuse is NOT OK and there is no excuse for it. Doesn't matter if you're the mother, the father, the husband, the wife, the teacher, the priest, the neighborhood watchman. Abuse is not ok.

        August 27, 2012 at 6:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • Wes Scott

      Did you actually bother reading the story? Here is the very first sentence: "The California legislature unanimously passed a bill last week that would prohibit victims of spousal abuse from having to pay alimony to their convicted abuser." Please notice the last two words. I hope that answers your concerns.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:32 pm | Report abuse |
      • jimroopecnn

        Thanks Wes,
        And if everyone would just take a few minutes to LISTEN to the story by clicking the audio player below the picture most of the questions are answered and comments addressed.

        August 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm | Report abuse |
        • Real-O-Meter

          Sometimes people cannot listen while at work. I have asked repeatedly for accompanying written transcripts – why can't CNN post a written transcript so we could all actually read the article while at work? You want our readership, our attention, correct? When you refuse to transcribe, you lose folks who either click away to find the story elsewhere (I do this all the time), or you end up with people who make snap judgements based on what you DO print. Please, TRANSCRIBE the stories so your audience can get the full article, rather than admonishing us for not clicking. That is inconsiderate and will certainly make me go read the story elsewhere.

          August 27, 2012 at 6:39 pm | Report abuse |
  53. Your Panties in Texas

    I'm baaack. I had alot of fun playing with y'all. Thanks.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm | Report abuse |
  54. Justme

    You should be ashamed of that statement.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm | Report abuse |
  55. Wow

    Waiting for abuse to occur...taping it...where were her priorities? Certainly not in the children or her own safety. The guy, needing professional help, must be removed from the situation...permanantly. The only thing I like about the legislation...it is gender neutral. I am in favor of a time limit on supporting the children (18). Notice: I am not in favor of alimony of any sort. The first person in the legal system to have seen the tape should have immediately brought it to a prosecutor. On rape...No is NO. On the subject of "duty"...pull your head of out your perverbial black hole! Marriage is consentual...every bit of it. If you don't like how that turns out...leave. Be prepared to support the kids. Married 24 years now!

    August 27, 2012 at 5:11 pm | Report abuse |
    • burnz

      Beatings and rape aren't consensual, if she walked out and divorced him, he would probably come at her later on. He would also have access to their kids, who he clearly couldn't raise, if he was unemployed and beating his wife.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:22 pm | Report abuse |
      • stone

        I guess if I'm a woman and mention abuse, then the court will favor me in not paying support...sweet for a female.

        August 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm | Report abuse |
        • Katie

          I'm guess scam artists have their own problems to work out, and any court in the land would figure that out in a heartbeat.

          August 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm | Report abuse |
    • cjbomb

      Todd Akin? Is that you?

      August 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm | Report abuse |
    • Greg

      "Waiting for abuse to occur...taping it...where were her priorities?" Sounds like you're blaming the victim. She was married, she was alone with him. In many many cases of rape or domestic abuse it's a he said she said outcome. It's even hardy to prove when you're married because the use of DNA can't be used. Think about it, they're married and have sex. Unless she caught it on tape, he would have never been convicted.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm | Report abuse |
    • Saul the Finance Guy

      Turn that Mom upside down!

      August 27, 2012 at 5:41 pm | Report abuse |
    • revictimization

      to WOW: good luck getting an abuser out of the house, willingly. Once ensconced in a marriage ( or any type of relationship, really), an abuser will take over and make it painful, or even deadly for their victim to get them out of their life.

      If you haven't been there, please don't tell those who are, or were, how easy it is to remove the abuser from your life.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm | Report abuse |
      • EEper

        YES! This is so true.

        August 27, 2012 at 7:23 pm | Report abuse |
  56. A Buddy in Philly

    You go girl! Forget the morons and jerks - guaranteed they're losers in most places where it counts. (ticklemeelmo? - give me a break!)

    August 27, 2012 at 5:09 pm | Report abuse |
  57. Justme

    You, sir, must be just like her ex who's in jail to say such a thing. There is nothing in this article to support your statement.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:05 pm | Report abuse |
  58. jason

    Can we find out who that judge was that made that order?

    August 27, 2012 at 5:05 pm | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      That information is found in the story. Click the audio player button below the picture.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:08 pm | Report abuse |
  59. reason&logic

    to all people in this comments section i have two words: Prenuptial agreement.

    that is all.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:04 pm | Report abuse |
    • Mike D

      Prenups don't apply to alimony and child support only assets prior to the marriage.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:06 pm | Report abuse |
      • reason&logic

        @mike D.

        it can be used to at lease limit the amount of alimony. thats better than nothing (although not getting married stops alimony dead in its tracks)

        August 27, 2012 at 5:09 pm | Report abuse |
    • jason

      Prenuptual agreement?? so your saying prior to the marriage he told her of the abuse he was going to give her as their marriage continued?? Your an ass clown!

      August 27, 2012 at 5:06 pm | Report abuse |
      • reason&logic


        it is clear from your comment that you do not know what a Prenuptual agreement is. i'd suggest you do some research while us adults discuss matters that clearly are beyond you.

        August 27, 2012 at 5:14 pm | Report abuse |
  60. Tom

    How about to laws to stop alimony judgments for male victims of marital abuse? It's as if alimony judgements weren't heavily gender biased already. Only 4% of payors are women per IRS data, despite 37% of breadwinners now being the female spouse. That's almost a 1-to-10 imbalance.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm | Report abuse |
    • stone

      If you have not figured it out, its a women's world now...the lamindations of women will always put men in a losing position. The key is not to get married these days.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:19 pm | Report abuse |
      • Katie

        You don't like it?? There are some great gay communities for you to live in.

        August 27, 2012 at 6:29 pm | Report abuse |
      • Katie

        Or you can always join a women-hating religion, like the Taliban. Good luck finding one that respects you, though.

        August 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm | Report abuse |
      • EEper

        Even if not married, you have to go through custody proceedings for kids. Some states also honor common law marriage. There is no escape....

        August 27, 2012 at 7:24 pm | Report abuse |
    • revictimization

      Whoa there Tom, and Stone;

      Previously in this country, men could abuse their women with impunity; could have their wife committed to an insane assylum on their mere word that she was mentally ill; could divorce with scanty, or no reason at all, keep the kids an dpay nothing to the ex, leavng her a state of disgrace so that no other 'decent man' would have anything to do with her.

      We've come a long way, baby...and to a large extent it is a good thing for the safety and future of a woman and her children.

      Not saying all accusations of abuse are valid, however, you can't tell me that the odds of abuse, particullarly harmful physical abuse, are more likely to happen to a woman.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:11 pm | Report abuse |
      • revictimization

        Aren't likey to happen to a woman, is what I meant.

        August 27, 2012 at 6:12 pm | Report abuse |
  61. bob

    Everyone should be advised to sign a prenup before marriage.

    In this jerk's case, he needs to go to jail. Rape is rape, and he should not be rewarded for it. Women who abuse their husbands should not get a penny. No abuser ever should.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm | Report abuse |
  62. Mike D

    I'm ok with this assuming it is applied to both sexes equally, until our courts can stop with their blatant bias against men laws like this cannot be passed.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm | Report abuse |
    • JOHN

      As a pediatrician who has had to work with our purposely complex legal system in Family Court, I have noticed men are getting more and more "rights" even if they are snakes in the grass. No one considers the rights and needs of children, for example, who then suffer having to spend "equal time" with a deadbeat fathers (not dads), and/or one who is verbally abusive to those kids. Mind you, some mothers (not moms) fall into the same category. But usually it is the "men" (as they are pleased to call themselves) who are the troublemakers.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:17 pm | Report abuse |
      • DC1973

        What gets me is how few people understand that the "woman always gets the kids" thing is a product of misogyny and sexism.

        August 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm | Report abuse |
  63. JQP1172

    [In abscence of abuse] All this talk of what is right and wrong in alimony is ridiculous. Alimony although more commonly given to the wife is not a woman only issue. Alimony IS intended to take which ever spouse is the lesser of the two earners and allow them the same standard of living as if the couple were still married.

    So for all you friggin poor pathetic boys and I call ya boys due to all the crying your doing, MARRY AN EQUAL. Trust me if you make $75K and your spouse works outside the home and makes $65 – $70K, trust me you will have little to no alimony. BUT YES if you would prefer to keep the misses barefoot and pregnant at home and she makes $0K outside the home, then YES your gonna have to pay. Pretty simple, so man up and pay or marry a career minded woman who puts focus on career as well as family.

    August 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm | Report abuse |
  64. Bayousara

    I must be the only reader who has no clue what this story is about. The wife was abused and forced to have oral sex with her husband. Then a judge said she had to pay spousal support? Ummmmmm, was the husband put in jail or was he charged with anything? WHY did the judge say wife must pay support? I am so happy my father decided to move his family from California to Oregon in 1951. We pretty much have things together here in Oregon, and I can't imagine living anywhere else.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:59 pm | Report abuse |
  65. good for men

    This is actually excellent news for all the men out there pay alimony to deadbeat wifes. This will set a precedence in which men will be able to prove they have been verbal, physically, mentally abused or cheated on, and will not need to pay alimony as the wife did them wrong. Trust me, this is a huge step in the right direction for men(and women)

    August 27, 2012 at 4:54 pm | Report abuse |
    • Sean

      So true. Women have gotten away with terrible things for years.... the man pays. Now that women are starting to pay, they want to make it fair. Let's make it fair. In abuse, no one pays the abuser.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:58 pm | Report abuse |
    • JT1962

      This isn't about being a deadbeat spouse or cheating, as goodformen tried to say. This is about being a convicted abuser and having the victim pay the abuser alimony. When you get out of a marriage because you've been physically abused by your spouse, and you have proof that the spouse abused you, then you shouldn't have to pay that spouse support OR their legals costs. If that spouse hadn't been an abuser to begin with, the marriage wouldn't have broken apart.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm | Report abuse |
    • ticklemeelmo

      Right on Bro! If you're a multi-billionaire and don't want to pay all of that alimony then just declare that your wife is abusive; save BIG $. Good thinking CA

      August 27, 2012 at 5:07 pm | Report abuse |
  66. Andrew

    Google Linda Calbi

    August 27, 2012 at 4:50 pm | Report abuse |
  67. kaelinda

    Stay at home wives (or husbands) work longer hours doing menial chores than hubby (or wifey) does at his high-powered stressful job, and they deserve half of what their husbands (or wives) made while they were married. Not because she's entitled to a specific lifestyle, but because she worked as hard if not harder than he did during those years. Raising children is the most important job in the world – it's the raising of the next generation – and it should be paid better than ball players or movie stars or the CEOs of failing businesses.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:48 pm | Report abuse |
    • M B

      I see the point that you're trying to make, but this should never be put 100% into effect.
      What about the stay-at-home mom/dad that watches tv all day and never takes care of the child? What about the one that will emotional abuse the children when the other is away at work? If your idea was decalared a law/bill, you would hear so many news stories of these situations and much worse arising. Then you would be shedding tears for the divorced parent (the one that was working) struggling to raise make ends meet since they have to give part of their paycheck to the deadbeat ex.

      You can't always stand behind some idea fully. If you take a history lesson, you will ALWAYS find people that have taken everything to the extreme. A lot of times, they have the law backing them up. Then the extreme cases come forward and the public is outraged...then lawyers have to find a way to finetune that law to prevent those cases...then they have to finetune it even more for other cases.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm | Report abuse |
    • DF888

      Are you serious, the problem is not about the alimony, it is what he took from her as a human being that money cannot buy

      August 27, 2012 at 5:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • ShutUpAndDie

      Give me a break! During that time in marrage she worked hard at the meanial chores and was compensated at the time. Now, after divorce, both the man and woman will have to work hard at their meanial chores and their jobs and earn their own compensation. Or do we just assume that the man will go to work and find someone else to do those chores, but the woman will sit home and only do the chores for herself and should still be paid for it?

      August 27, 2012 at 5:10 pm | Report abuse |
    • Johnny Five

      What if you do a horrible job as a homemaker? No laundry. No dishes. No cooking. Alcoholic pill popping trash. Raised a depressed obese child. Can we fire you? No. You still get to be a freeloading leech and get a load of money for actually ruining your family's well-being. So please shut your trap and get back in the kitchen.

      August 27, 2012 at 11:30 pm | Report abuse |
  68. Ottawa Mens Centre

    This proposed law is nothing but a promotion of hatred towards men
    another escalation of Male Sharia Law


    August 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm | Report abuse |
    • reason&logic

      actually "Ottawa Mens Centre" Sharia Law leans slightly more in the mens favor (i.e. no alimony etc..) women have rights under sharia, but nether party is allowed to beat the other over the head with there rights. both parties are told from the get go that proof is needed if either party lodges a complant against the other

      also things like honor killings, excessive coverings are arab tribal related (i.e. they predate sharia/islam)

      August 27, 2012 at 5:01 pm | Report abuse |
    • DC1973

      Please tell us more about how hard it is to be a man in America. In a story about rape and abuse, no less. Please. Let's make this ALL ABOUT YOU.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:18 pm | Report abuse |
  69. Ottawa Mens Centre

    It's amazing how CNN deletes posts that feminists deem heresy.

    Fact is, rape/abuse and support are entirely separate issues. What feminists want is to be able
    to avoid paying support by obtaining a very easy to obtain conviction for assault that in most cases
    never happened.

    Across the western world, women get convictions based on "she said" without any other evidence.
    An illegal reverse onus applies in that men are supposed to prove that they did NOT commit the allegation.

    Its a double standard and its Male Sharia Law


    August 27, 2012 at 4:43 pm | Report abuse |
    • Lori

      SHE CAUGHT THE ATTACK ON TAPE! You picked the wrong story to get on your soap box, you misogynist.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:49 pm | Report abuse |
    • Momofniecy

      The article clearly says "She caught the second attack on tape" so how can this be hearsay?

      August 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm | Report abuse |
    • TheTruth

      I completely agree.

      If you are a woman and want to avoid paying spousal support, taunt your husband. It's profitable. One can readily create self inflicted bruises, then claim the spouse did it. Now you have leverage in the divorce negotiations. Sad, but it is the likely outcome from this type of legislation.

      The sex biases in the US make it incredibly easy for the female to do this and incredibly difficult for the man.

      A bad law indeed.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:08 pm | Report abuse |
      • DC1973

        And you, too. Please tell us more about how hard it is to be a man in America. Meanwhile, I'll be over here making less money than you for the same job, being terrified of being raped for walking down the street, being thought of as property, and being told that I should just shut up and know my place.

        But by all means, carrying on crying about the poor menz and their feefees.

        August 27, 2012 at 5:21 pm | Report abuse |
    • revictimization

      Ottowa: you are so uninformed. Most rapes, whether by stranger, and certainly by spouse, go unreported here in the US (which you somehow and quite amazingly believe yourself to know something about).

      So, the numbers are skewed right from the get-go (not that you bothered to do any actual fact checking), which renders your conclusion false, ignorant and ridiculous at best.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:41 pm | Report abuse |
    • Karma

      I am ashamed this post is from Canada. I was PERSONALLY raped by my now ex as well as beaten. The two go hand in hand. I could havee sued him, had him put in jail (he was not a Canadian citizen) and perhaps deported. After I left he continued to make my life hell as well as my children's life. Hmmm..this came from "the Mens Center", obviously you are a very bitter person to post this. I will look into your so called organization more tomorrow. You are an ignorant person, ill educated or an abusive man.

      August 27, 2012 at 8:40 pm | Report abuse |
  70. DeeDee

    Two points-First, it is unlikely that the judge who convicted the husband in a criminal case would have been the judge to hear the divorce case. There were likely two separate trials and two different judges.

    Also, the article does not say that the husband went to jail-just that he was convicted. CNN--why don't you clear up your story?

    August 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm | Report abuse |
  71. M

    Once the marriage starts going downhill, put hidden cameras in the house. Get the crazy witch to come at you like a spider monkey and forever be free from her alimony.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:31 pm | Report abuse |
    • jtc

      how did she catch a rape on camera? sounds like the dude was set up

      August 27, 2012 at 4:48 pm | Report abuse |
      • Justme

        That's silly. You can catch someone on tape having sex very easily, but catching involuntary sex with abuse – I don't think so.

        August 27, 2012 at 5:10 pm | Report abuse |
  72. ShutUpAndDie

    It didn't say he was convicted of domestic abuse or assult and battery... only convicted of forced oral copulation. And she video taped it for evidence... so, let me get this straight, she was making a sex tape and once he posted it online she yells foul.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:29 pm | Report abuse |
    • Bob

      Yeah ... that's exactly what happened ...

      Also, everyone knows that if it had been LEGITIMATE rape, well, her body has ways to shut that whole thing down!

      August 27, 2012 at 4:38 pm | Report abuse |
    • imori

      1) She recorded it for evidence.
      2) didn't say anything about posting it online. You just flat out made that up. Like, just now. Because... I don't know why.
      3) It was *forced* oral copulation. Forced. Sex... that was forced. In most dictionaries and court rooms that's called sexual assault.

      QED – you're either a troll or a moron.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm | Report abuse |
    • jimroopecnn

      It was an audio tape recording. If you click the play button below the picture you'll hear the complete story that explains it all.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm | Report abuse |
  73. SGJD

    Wow! Didn't know this kind of ignorance existed.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:29 pm | Report abuse |
  74. Mockingjay

    If you find this story amusing, then you disgust me.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • imori

      I find it amusing that he's getting not a dime out of her. I find that amusing as hell. I laugh histerically when douchebags get what's coming to them.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:43 pm | Report abuse |
  75. DaveLinSD

    This article is factually incorrect. Alimony is granted by a judge in Family Court when the wife requests spousal due to the husband earning more. When a husband makes less than the wife and requests spousal support, it is called Palimony. Make sure your information is correct CNN.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kat

      You are wrong about the definition of palimony. Alimony is an award if the couple was married. Palimony is an award made between a couple that never married.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm | Report abuse |
    • UTLaw

      Try again. Before posting such nonsense, you might want to be more informed on the details of each.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm | Report abuse |
    • Keith

      Palimony is a term used for alimony for unmarried couples. You might look things up so you don't sound so ignorant.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:43 pm | Report abuse |
    • merridee

      Don't be foolish – palimony was the name attached to the concept after live-in girlfriend Michelle Triola sued the late Lee Marvin for support at the end of their long term relationship in which she alleged she had given up substantial work in her own career in order to accommodate their relationship needs.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:50 pm | Report abuse |
    • jay zee

      @DaveLinSD, do your research Palimony is related to non-married domestic partners; alimony is for a married couple, regardless of who makes more money. WOW

      August 27, 2012 at 4:50 pm | Report abuse |
  76. Hear The Truth



    August 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm | Report abuse |
  77. Paul

    Actually JP, Tim is entirely correct when he states "This will just increase the already epidemic rate of Domestic Violence Fraud." The amount of fraud in domestic violence cases is staggering and in most cases the man is the victim. He loses his livelihood; he loses his home; he loses his financial footing; and sadly he loses his children. The statistics bear out the fact the he rarely recovers from this sort of abuse. Since you ask for statistics, go to http://www.fathersandfamilies.org and take some time to read the information provided there.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:08 pm | Report abuse |
    • SGJD

      I agree that men are also victims of domestic abuse but please don't negate the fact the women have suffered and suffered long over the years. I have had to give up everything and move to a different state. I could care less about the material possessions as long as my children and I are safe.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm | Report abuse |
    • DC1973

      Baw baw baw. Yeah, I feel terrible for the poor men who lose their reputation because they didn't beat their woman hard enough to shut her up.

      There is no "epidemic of abuse fraud." There is an epidemic of abuse.

      Guess which one of these things I (and most reasonable people) should be more upset about?

      August 27, 2012 at 5:27 pm | Report abuse |
      • Heh What

        its nice they let you guys blog from your cells isn't it?

        August 27, 2012 at 9:43 pm | Report abuse |
  78. Pappa Smurf

    Yet if a woman cheats on her husband (emotional abuse) she still gets, the kids, the house, alimony and child support. But of course if she cheats its his fault.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:08 pm | Report abuse |
    • Simon

      Yes, it's a terrible double standard. My uncle married, became rich, didn't sign a prenup. His wife turned on him and forced him to stay away from the rest of the family for a couple of years because "we joke too much"...literally, that's the reason. Our jokes offended her one day and she went crazy on the family. After dealing with it for a while, he decided it was time for a divorce. She dragged it on and on, until he was just sick of dealing with her and he ended up losing everything he had worked for except for the company. Yes, he will get it all back eventually, well hopefully, but she gets to keep half of everything he has...she now owns two homes, multiple nice cars, and has millions in the bank. He did that so she wouldn't be able to control half of his company. She is going to continue to get paid for the next ten years and she did nothing. She didn't graduate college, she didn't start a business or work even...she raised the kids, but we don't give people millions to do that, so it's very unfair. She doesn't deserve a penny, she is not a good person.

      Clearly the guy in this case is garbage, but at what point do we invalidate someone's ability to take half of everything from the other person? I wish being a dumb b*tch counted 🙂

      August 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm | Report abuse |
      • Heh What

        Simon, maybe the women was the butt of your jokes? Your opinion of the worth of her life and her contribution to her family by raising the children show exactly that you value money over family members and their children rendering your opinion of their situation invalid. You may think women's contribution to family (or men in that position) worth nothing, fortunately society has evolved.

        August 27, 2012 at 9:42 pm | Report abuse |
    • greg

      are you inept? did you not even read the article? cheating is not a crime. Rape is.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm | Report abuse |
      • DF888

        Thank you greg, was starting to get sick over some of these responses, people think that just because they have gone threw something similar that they can relate – but I bet they weren't rape physically and now mentally as well

        August 27, 2012 at 5:09 pm | Report abuse |
    • TZ

      Pappa Smurf, if he had just cheated on her, she would have to pay him alimony in a divorce. If you don't understand the difference between cheating and rape, you are a disgusting moron.

      August 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm | Report abuse |
  79. Stan Klecha

    Life is what you make it .. it could be a dream with your soul mate or a disaster with the devil ..respecting each
    individual as human beings .. We has human beings are not perfect.. but we can at least repect the lives of
    others .. married life is a promise to live together as two human beings .. I have been married for more then 60
    years .. and plan to be married until the Lord takes one of us .. No regrets .. ..

    August 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • Mary

      Smart man, Stan!
      You have a very lucky wife, and she is a very lucky woman.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:12 pm | Report abuse |
    • revictimization

      Awesome!! My parents were married 53 years, until my father passed away last year. Shame on the generations that came after you that can't seem to figure out how to make it work...

      August 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm | Report abuse |
      • Heh What

        Your parents generation had plenty of abused women. Give me a break, they had little law that helped them back then as most of it was geared to the benefit of men at that time.

        August 27, 2012 at 9:36 pm | Report abuse |
  80. A little Common Sense

    Alimony is paid in large part because the spouse (ok, who are we kidding husband) has to pay the other person because they've become accustomed to a standard of living. Why isn't the person paying alimony (husband) entitled to certain aspects of that lifestyle that they've become accustomed to, such as someone doing the household duties or any of the many other intangibles the lesser/non-earner provides.

    If the wife stays home and cleans the house and does the errands but doesn't earn an income, when the court demands a guy pay alimony b/c she's accustomed to a lifestyle, shouldn't the court also order that woman to always clean his house and pick up his dry cleaning because it's a lifestyle he's become accustomed to?

    I believe the same is true if the roles are reversed and the husband is the one receiving alimony.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • Pappa Smurf

      @ Common Sense

      Probem with that is that my ex was a stay at home mom and never cleaned the house and did very little cooking. I have a much cleaner house and better meals with her GONE!!!

      August 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm | Report abuse |
      • revictimization

        Pappa, you knew Smurfette was a ho when you met her, what did you expect??

        August 27, 2012 at 6:29 pm | Report abuse |
    • Kris

      Except for in this case, the spouse is an abuser and a criminal. He deserves nothing.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm | Report abuse |
      • A little Common Sense


        I fully agree with you. Please don't think I'm speaking to this case specifically. I'm making a general statement about alimony. This guy sounds like garbage and I'm all for him getting nothing and the sentiment behind this potential law, but I will say I'm concerned about a likely abuse of the rule and an increased bias against men in marriage dissolution proceedings.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:23 pm | Report abuse |
        • Alice

          You realize that this exception requires a FELONY conviction of abuse. Spousal abuse is incredibly hard to prove in a court of law. This woman had an audio recording and still he was only convicted of one count. Imagine how difficult it is for other abused spouses. The idea that "oh these women can just claim abuse and take advantage of these poor men" is ridiculous. It's not just a claim, it is a conviction. Legally, he has to have been found to be a criminal abuser before the new law takes affect. I don't think it is unreasonable for a victim to not pay money to the felon who abused her.

          August 27, 2012 at 4:31 pm | Report abuse |
    • thethinker

      Your initial statement is incorrect, alimony (spousal support) is paid when one spouse gives up or limits their earning potential to support the other spouse's career, by taking care of the children, throwing dinners, taking care of the house etc...etc... Either the husband or the wife could be the one giving up their earning potential. Those are the instances where a spouse deserves spousal support. The concept of lifestyle accustomed to, is a way judges use to determine the amount of spousal support, when it is appropriate. Unfortunately, that has turned into a situation where one spouse who has chosen a less lucrative field or chosen to work less but not as a sacrifice for the marriage, gets payments. This one seems to benefit men the most. That said, there certainly are men who have given up their careers for their families and they deserve spousal support just as much as women do when that is the case.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:05 pm | Report abuse |
  81. Jack

    Alimony needs to be looked at completely. It's a new age. Split up the assets acquired during the marriage and eliminate alimony completely. No one deserves a living off another's back after the split. It's funny that these laws only will change now that they are biting women in the butt!

    August 27, 2012 at 4:06 pm | Report abuse |
    • ImpishLisa

      Most fortunes ARE accumulated while married, and men dump the first wife to pick up a newer, better looking trade up. if the first wife got him there, hell yes she is entitled to half. I personally wouldn't date/wed a guy who has to pay alimony, because it's a handicap, like in horse races. And too many guys think paying is good enough. They are little PEOPLE that were created, not debts.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:15 pm | Report abuse |
  82. Cyndi

    I think the judge that ordered her to pay alimony needs to have his head examined.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:04 pm | Report abuse |
    • Mary

      This CNN report doesn't give the whole story. She had to pay (since she was the sole bread winner) while he was on trial (while he was accused of, but not convicted of, assault, etc.). When he was convicted, the judge dropped the alimony.
      News outlets really should give us a more complete report.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm | Report abuse |
      • Carol

        That makes sense.
        May be tempoarily "unfair" but so isn't the alledgations of abuse, frequently false from both sides, in divocre proceedings.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:21 pm | Report abuse |
      • DougVK

        Actually you are NOT giving the whole story , she has been ordere to pay his Alimony after he is released from prison. Plus she was order to reimburse him 47,000 in legal fees AFTER he was convicted. So it is YOU who isn't getting your facts correct.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:22 pm | Report abuse |
      • Sharon

        Wrong Mary- once he was released from prison the alimony payments were to resume. She did not have to pay during his prison term because he was a ward of the state.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm | Report abuse |
      • Alice

        No, the judge did NOT drop the alimony. Alimony doesn't need to be paid while her husband is in prison. Without a change in the law, she will have to start paying again as soon as her ex-husband is released. And she still had to pay her rapist $26,000 in legal fees.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:33 pm | Report abuse |
      • Mel

        I'm not sure if this comment is soley based on the little recap or if you listened to the whole thing. It covered this very well in the piece itself, just not the recap. The only reason she stopped when he was convicted was because she doesn't have to pay while he is in jail. She still has to pay for his attorney fees and would have had to start again as soon as he is released. The bill will change that when it passes.

        August 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm | Report abuse |
  83. Justice

    The legal system is so much involved in our private lives now that the only solution to protect yourself (both men and women) from a financial ruin is not to get married. Unfortunately, it is the only solution in the current legal environment. Keep those divorce attorneys out of work. Even a prenuptial, while always a good idea, still will not provide you a solid protection against being forced into supporting another person. Do you really want some judge to sort through your private relationships and force you to support another person possibly for the rest of your (or their) life, the person you, at a minimum, do not care about anymore. Marriages lead to too much reliance on the other person for finances, health insurances, pensions, etc. Instead, everyone who do not want to find themselves in situations like this, should protect themselves by just being partners with all aspects of their lives agreed upon. Self-reliance is a solution. Freeloaders will be on their own, and will have to get a job, get educated, or suffer the consequences of their decisions. And if your partner insists on marriage, it should be a red flag because he/she is looking for a legal status. In this situation, if they were not married, Crystal would not have to go through the pain of supporting her unemployed abusive husband and taking her case to a judge, and her husband would be in prison for a rape. Crystal would have been in control of her life and her finances. And her abusive freeloader would have to get a job after serving his term in prison.

    August 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm | Report abuse |
  84. DVS

    Really? You need to be on the other end of that situation, buddy. Let's see how quickly you will whistle Dixie, if you get my drift.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:58 pm | Report abuse |
  85. Chris

    That is wonderful, but now they need to pass a law protecting men, not from abusive wives (they do exist, but cmon) But from the fact that in most states Alimony has no expiration and does not cancel when she finds a new man or a remarries. There are men who are paying alimony for 20 some odd years after divorce. Alimony needs an expiration 1-2 years tops, a chance for him/her to get on there feet and provide for themself, not a lifetime check.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:55 pm | Report abuse |
    • Safe in Texas

      There is no alimony in Texas, per se. If you've been married for a length of time, you may get something called spousal support but it doesn't last forever like the California suckers have to pay.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • Dan I


      In most states Alimony terminates upon re-marriage or in the entering of a relationship "analogous" to marriage. It can also terminate if the person receiving alimony begins to earn more than the person paying it (since alimony is supposed to make up for loss of income and lifestyle). But all this requires PETITIONING the court, it isn't automatic. Many parties though just get used to writing that check they never think to actually check on the situation.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • ED

      Actually there is a time frame on alimony in the state of CA. Do your research. It is when a remarriage occurs or 5 yrs.

      August 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm | Report abuse |
  86. Zoe

    Jerk, I hope you are not married.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm | Report abuse |
  87. Bob

    Alimony sucks if your the one paying!

    August 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm | Report abuse |
    • EDPOKO

      The courts will always side with a woman even though she is the one commiting mental abuse by the BOAT LOAD> Son's girls friend assulted him and even though there were pictures of the injuries the judge said my son was the abuser. Jail records showed she had been arrested 4 times and put in jail. BUT< Judge said that he would not allow her previous record and arrest as evidence...

      August 27, 2012 at 4:09 pm | Report abuse |
      • EEper

        I was raped by my husband. He blew all of our money on prostitutes and trips and more to finance a high risk lifestyle. The court did not side "with me." They looked at what he did as a "hobby." It is a myth that the court sides with women. These days it often tries to be fair and split things down the middle. When it does this it traumatizes abuse victims further as if what happened didnt matter.

        August 27, 2012 at 7:19 pm | Report abuse |
  88. jimroopecnn

    Hey Everyone,
    I think a lot of points, comments and questions are answered within the story. I encourage you to listen to the complete story by clicking the play button below the picture. thank you all for your participation.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm | Report abuse |
  89. eimac

    I was an abused wife who was ordered to pay 7 years of alimony at $700 per month to my ex-husband. The abuse was verbal, financial and emotional. Over time things escalated to him causing regular destruction to our home and belongings, but he never hit me, although the fear he instilled in me was very strong and very real. I got out before it got to the point of him hitting me. Now before you ask why I even waited as long as I did, it is because early on, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychosis. This happened shortly after a tragic pregnancy loss. (we ultimately had no children together) As the verbal, financial and emotional abuse got worse, I consulted a divorce lawyer but chose not to proceed. I made that decision because I felt that his actions were a result of his illness and I wouldn't divorce him if he was suffering from cancer, or MS or some other chronic condition. However after a few more years and his actions becoming more physical I filed. Now because mental illness is considered a disability, in New York State he could have been awarded LIFETIME ALIMONY, so I was FORTUNATE to only have to pay 7 years. And this is even after I had to obtain multiple orders of protection against him for stalking and threatening me physical harm. I was so angry in the beginning because why should I have to support him after what he put me through. The only way I was able to deal with it in a healthy manner was to look at it as an investment in my health and well-being.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:53 pm | Report abuse |
    • Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son

      No disrespect but this sounds like a very one sided explanation of a very two sided issue.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:02 pm | Report abuse |
    • judgedb

      Please explain what financial abuse is

      August 27, 2012 at 5:21 pm | Report abuse |
  90. Nerula

    You really are in OZ aren't you?

    August 27, 2012 at 3:50 pm | Report abuse |
  91. David M

    The judge should have been disbarred for ordering a woman to pay her rapist. This is one of the most disgusting and idiotic orders I have ever heard a so-called judge give.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:50 pm | Report abuse |
    • Tom

      David M – The law is called "no fault divorce" and has been used for decades (since 1970) to order people into paying alimony regardless of what they have done or what has been done-to-them during the marrage. This includes physical/emotional abuse, adultery, desertion, financial fraud, etc. I agree with you on needing to change things but it must protect men and women equally. Right now it sounds like the new law is drafted for gender-specific cases only, as if Family Law isn't already gender biased.

      August 27, 2012 at 3:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • Angry in Texas

      Try dealing with the state of Texas , no one wants to help your 3 year old who was sexually assaulted while in moms care and by mom's boyfriend/husband because you and your spouse make to much money, we cant even afford a lawyer because the retainer fees are $1850 -$3500 to start the paperwork yet be from across the border and you get everything, we dont even qualify for legal aid because my spouse and I make to much money. Or better yet, we cant get a protective order against the prepretrator because he has one already and he's a client of the county attorney's office and mom is undocument and lives in another country. Is there anyone out there who can help us? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:21 pm | Report abuse |
      • Carter

        Sounds like a criminal case. Call the police and report the crime.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:31 pm | Report abuse |
      • Keith

        Load up your Children and disapear. Ten years from now when the kids are grown then deal with the legal stuff.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:49 pm | Report abuse |
  92. Spijder

    At least in this article it doesn't specify that only male convicted abusers won't be able to collect alimony. It only states convicted abusers. Convicted. It's about criminals and victims, not men and women, there will even still be abusers who will collect just because they managed to avoid being convicted.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:49 pm | Report abuse |
  93. JD

    Wow ....OZ123!!! I can't believe that you really believe that!!! IF you do I'm guessing your cellmate call you his wife everyday before 'bedtime'??
    You are a sick man!

    August 27, 2012 at 3:47 pm | Report abuse |
  94. Tom

    If the genders were reversed here, I doubt any state legislature would pass a whole new law to protect one single guy from paying alimony, regardless of how badly that dude was abused during the marriage.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:47 pm | Report abuse |
    • kls817

      Agreed. Women's rights group have successfully lobbied to ensure that women have more rights than men.
      Men are held responsible for everything, while women are just helpless victims and deserve to have first pick of 1) alimony and 2) the children. This new law is meant to ensure that when women do make more than the man, she will not have to pay alimony if she just alleges she was abused.
      Women have choices, men have responsibilities.
      Ironically, in third world countries women are treated terribly and my charities of choice are those that attempt to gain civil rights for women. This is the best way to suppress the male-dominated violent mentality and also to cut down on overpopulation (women won't have to depend on their children in their old-age).
      But in the US and many western countries (Sweden is the worst), women have more than their fair share of rights.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:01 pm | Report abuse |
      • l


        "This new law is meant to ensure that when women do make more than the man, she will not have to pay alimony if she just alleges she was abused."

        Hey dumbass, read the article. "The California legislature unanimously passed a bill last week that would prohibit victims of spousal abuse from having to pay alimony to their convicted abuser." CONVICTED. They have to be CONVICTED.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm | Report abuse |
      • Alice

        No that is not what the law states. The law says that no spouse will have to pay money to their ex-spouse if the ex has been CONVICTED of violent sexual abuse. Not alleged abuse. The justice system will have to decided. It is incredibly difficult to prove spousal rape in a court of law.

        August 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm | Report abuse |
      • dumbwoman

        That's an interesting allegation, considering in 31 states a man that rapes a woman has a right to try to get visitation with the child if one results from said rape.
        If a man wants a vesectomy, he simply has to request one – be a woman and ask to be sterilized, and if you are married your husbands signature is required.
        Now strike 3 – in many states, and if the GOP has their way, in all states, the pregnancy that results from previously mentioned rape may not be terminated at the raped womans request. So, she does not have the right to abort the child that was violently forced into her, and she further does not have the right to protect that child from a rapist.
        I love my sons, but I long for the day when women finally evolve to the point of not requiring men in order to reproduce.

        August 29, 2012 at 3:29 pm | Report abuse |
  95. Biggirlpants

    All you "marriage=rape is impossible" folks, got a question for you. If I wear a strap – on and make love to my husband whether he wants me to or not, what is it? Afterall we are married and isn't his responsiblity to have relations with me?
    Before you start making accusations, my marriage is normal and plentiful, so it's just a rhetorical question. 🙂

    August 27, 2012 at 3:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son

      What exactly is a plentiful marriage?

      August 27, 2012 at 3:51 pm | Report abuse |
  96. guest

    you are an idiot, plain and simple.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:43 pm | Report abuse |
  97. Emma

    She should have left him, after he hit her the first time. Anytime a man hits his wife, he will do it again and again. It is time for women to wake up, and think.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:42 pm | Report abuse |
    • Ellen

      Ditto to the men who hit those women.

      August 27, 2012 at 3:46 pm | Report abuse |
    • Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son

      The same goes for the other way around also.

      August 27, 2012 at 3:49 pm | Report abuse |
    • ShutUpAndDie

      If she didn't stick around for the second beating she would have never caught it on tape. The tape was the evidence she was abused, which lead to his conviction, and ultimately this bill which will ensure she doesn't pay her abuser alomony. She knew what she was doing.

      August 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm | Report abuse |
  98. KF

    OZ123, you are an ignorant ass.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:41 pm | Report abuse |
  99. Cell

    I'm originally from California myself and I do from time to time try to keep up with current events there. I wholeheartedly agree that NO ONE should profit from crime..and I do mean no one. I do however notice how insane California divorce laws are. There is indeed a rise in women paying Alimony due to them starting to out earn many of their husbands.
    I'm willing to be a Feminist lobbyist pushed for such a ridiculous law because, lets be real, Feminism today has lost its meaning and is all about promoting the "Woman good Men bad" BS.

    Way I see it, expect the birth rate to keep dropping along with less and less people, especially men, willing to marry. I wouldn't be surprised if this is passed, that it will spread like no fault divorce. Good look Californians, you're gonna need it.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:40 pm | Report abuse |
  100. James

    evidently youve never been married OZ. Nor will you be anytime soon. Barbarian.

    August 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm | Report abuse |
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